Now I know why people love footballers – especially the goalies, they are real keepers.
You are in my heart, my mind, and in my entire body.
In fact, my doctor says that you must be a parasite!
Their romance started by candlelight.
But it only lasted a wick.
What did the lipstick say after he let down his friend?
I’ll make it up to you.
"Aloe you vera much."
What is it called when two spies hug?
A bond-ing moment.
Which sea creature gives the best hugs?
A cuttlefish
I whale always love you.
I love you berry much.
What did the patient with the broken leg say to their doctor?
Hey doc, I have a crutch on you.
What did the koala say to his girlfriend?
I love you-calpytus.
Why did Larry the lizard leave his lover longing?
he had ... a reptile dysfunction
You make miso happy.
While cuddling my girlfriend, I whispered "Honey, this isn't working out for me."
Then I rolled off the bed and started doing push-ups. "This is working out for me!"
What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird?
Cherpies, but don't worry.
It's tweetable.
I’m no geometric genius, but all love triangles soon turn into wreck-tangles.
Some bunny loves you.
What is the cutest car?
A BM-cuddle-U
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes
So she gave me a hug!!!
Never laugh at your spouse’s choice… You’re one of them.
Why did Paco's girlfriend not want to kiss him?
She was afraid of the a-Paco-lips.
Being in love is a lot like central heating in your home.
You turn it on just before your guests come over and pretend that your house is always like this.
When a gardener asks you how much you love them, you could try the effective – I love you from my head to-ma-toes.
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One thing you never want to do is divorce a butcher.
That would be a huge missed steak.
Why were the melon lovers sad?
Because they cantaloupe.
What did one slice of bread say to the other at their wedding?
Let’s grow mold together.
I love you from my head tomatoes.
Let’s commit the perfect crime together.
I’ll steal your heart and you can steal mine.
My gay lover asked me if date night was optional.
I said no, it's a mandate
You are just like my car because you drive me crazy.
What do you say when you find the perfect font?
You’re just my type!
What is a cat lover's favourite tree?
A juni-purr.
I pitcher us together forever.
I love you and I ain’t lion.
I cannoli be happy
What did the astronaut’s fiancé say when he proposed to her in open outer space? She said, “I can’t breathe!”
"You bake me crazy."
Why should you never break up with a goalie?
Because he is a keeper!
What did the bowl of soup write on their Valentine?
I love you pho real.
Never has there been a more romantic story than how those two geologists met.
It was lava at first sight.
What did the fruit lover say after he met a girl?
I’ve got a date
You are like my dentures.
I cannot smile without you.
What’s green and mean and stabs you when you hug it?
Cactus
What shape is a kiss?
A-lip-tickle.
I’m soy
into you.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you! and I want the whole world to know it.
You met all of my koala-fications
You’re my #1 pick.
I feel thankful for having you as my gym buddy and lover.
Our relationship is really working out.
How do you kiss someone at the end of the world?
On the apoca-lips.