Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Can we still share a netflix account?
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
We should make like your parents and split.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
"It's not me, it's you!"
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
I really like you. So does my wife.
We're donion rings.
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
You are so right. And I am so left.