German tourist visits France.
Guy at the Airport: "Nationality?"
German Dude: "German".
Airport Guy: "Occupation?"
German Dude: "Nein, nein, Only Vacation".
What did France, Great Britain, and their allies say after The Great War?
World War Won.
I’m in such a Henri to get to France!
I love a good shindig. Just call me Napoleon Bonapart-y.
What are stepfathers called in France?
Faux pas.
I’m in love with France, and I ain’t Lyon.
French people give me the crepes.
I always feel like a winner in France, which is great because I hate Toulouse.
French, French Revolution
How do you Charlemange-age to get through the last few days before vacation?
Don’t make such a Dreyfus about it.
Have you heard of the tallest tower in France?
It’s a real Eiffel.
What does the Tour de France and Amsterdam have in common?
They both have a bunch of people on drugs riding around on bikes.
I hate to Gauguin, but I have to catch my flight.
Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris?
He was declared to be in Seine.
Why can I not make jokes about the recent attacks in France?
Because jokes are all about execution.
Did you hear of the new disease going through France?
I've heard it was a Paris-ite.
What does a frog in Paris eat?
French Flies.
What’s the capital of France?
The F.
I’ve loved my vacation in France, but it’s time to Hugo.
I can’t believe you have the de Gaulle to say that to my face.
It’s impossible to Rouen a trip to France.
When in France, I have Nantes-thing to complain about.
What did the father ant said to his son when they moved to France from America?
Son, we are now Europeants!
What’s Austrian and took over France?
Croissants.
What's in the middle of Paris?
R.
French guy goes into a bar with a frog on his head
The bartender asks “where’d you get that?” And the frog says “in France. There’s loads of them.”
It’s time to say Versailles to France.
Can a fencing champion born in France, but raised in the U.S. represent either country in the olympics?
Yes. Because they have duel citizenship.
If you were born and raised in France, what does that make you?
French bred.
French fries aren’t cooked in France
They’re cooked in greece.
Whilst holidaying in France I saw a group of mushrooms performing Queen covers.
I said 'You're brilliant, what's the band called?'
They replied 'We are the Champignons."
It’s a beautiful Degas!
What is a female "Douchebag" in France called??
A douche-baguette.
Don’t come to France without any Monet.
Are these pants too tight in the Balzac?