What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"