If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
Water-mole-ns
Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
What did the generous mole say when people crashed his party?
The mole the merrier
When life gives you mold - make penicillin.
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
When hydrogen got arrested they told him he had one phone call.
He replied: "Call who? I don't have a family!"
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
What do you do with a sick chemist? You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
An electrolyte and a solvent are talking in jail.
Solvent: What are you in for?
Electrolyte: A salt charge.
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses