What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
What happens when a frogs car breaks down?
It has to be toad away.
Milk trucks always drive so fast, don’t they? You blink and they’re already pasteurize.
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
What do you call a bus full of smart people?
A Scholarship
Why do you only drive automatics?
‘I could never find a manual.’
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
A silent man walked into a bicycle shop...
He picked up a wheel and spoke.
Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?
Miles Teller
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
The navy is now taking dogs along on their submarines
They're subwoofers
There’s only one thing in the truck world that is bigger than a tow truck, and that’s a foot truck.
My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...
I hope this will not surface again
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?
It is a Vauxhall.
Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was 2-tired.
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
I watched, horrified as two trucks carrying cheese crashed into each other. De brie was all over the road.
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.
But I believe this sub's doing even better!
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
I was selling my bike and an interested buyer asked what’s lowest I’d go.
"About 3 mph," I said, "otherwise I’d tip over."
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...