Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...
I hope this will not surface again
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
Car puns are really tiring
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
What did the bus say to the frog? Hop on.
What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
I avoid bike trails after dark. They are full of cycle paths.
What do you call a guy who only rides children's bicycles?
A pedalphile
Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?
Miles Teller