What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde? Perri-air.
Baseball Fan: Have you ever seen a line drive?
Blond Baseball Fan: No, but I have seen a baseball park.
A blond was taking helicopter lessons.
The instructor said, "I'll radio you every 1000 feet to see how you're doing."
At 1000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great.
At 2000 feet, he said she was still doing well.
Right before she got to 3000 feet, the propeller stopped, and she twirled to the ground.
The instructor ran to where she crash landed and pulled her out of the helicopter. "What went wrong?"
The blond said, "At 2500 feet, I started to get cold, so I turned the big fan off."
How do you drown a submarine full of blonds?
You knock on the door.
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blond to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
Why was the blonde woman talking into an envelope? She was trying to send a voicemail!
How many blonde jokes are there?
One. The rest are all true stories.
What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team? They drowned in Spring Training
On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor.
He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
The blonde asked, “How am I supposed to know when I’m at 300 feet?”
“That’s a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you'll be able to recognize the faces of people on the ground.”
After pondering his answer, she asked, “What happens if there’s no one there I know?”
How do you drown a blonde? Tape a mirror to the bottom of a pool.
A redhead tells her blond stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian." The blond replies, "Oh my God. You slut. How many is a brazilian?"
A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour. So, when would you like to start?"
"Could I start In three months?"
One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt.
The doctor asked her what had happened.
She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I picked up the iron instead of the phone by mistake.
"Well that explains one ear, but what about the other?"
"The bastard called again."
Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? Because she got an "F" in se*.
One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt.
The doctor asked her what had happened.
She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I picked up the iron instead of the phone by mistake.
"Well that explains one ear, but what about the other?"
"The bastard called again."
Two blonds were driving down the road.
The blond driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working.
So the blond looks out the window and says, "Yes. No. Yes. No."
Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!
Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency? They can't remember the number.
Why do blondes wear their hair up? To catch everything that goes over their heads.
A blond pushes her BMW into the gas station and tells the mechanic that it died.
After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly.
"What's the story?" she asked.
"Just crap in the carburetor," the mechanic replied.
"How often do I have to do that?" asked the blond.
Why did the blonde put sugar on her bed? Because she wanted sweet dreams!
What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A blonde parade.
Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath? She still hasn't gotten all the hair off her tongue.
A blond rings up an airline.
She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?"
The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..."
The blond says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.
What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? She moved.
A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license and today you want me to show it to you!”
How does a blonde kill a worm?
She buries it.
Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms? They think their picture is being taken.
What goes: vroooom-schreech, vrooom-schreech, vroooom-schreech? A blonde at a flashing red light
Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? Toes Go In First.
Why did the blond enter the tennis courts naked?
Because the sign said tennis shoes only.
Why do blondes wear hooped ear rings. So they have somewhere to put their feet when having se*.
How many dumb blonde jokes are there? None they're all true stories.
Why blondes can't make Koolaid? Because they can't get 2 quarts of water in that small koolaid envelope.
A blond meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic.
"Everything ok with your car now?"
"Yes, thank goodness," the blond replies.
"Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?"
"Yeah, but he didn't. I was so relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!"
A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour.
So, when would you like to start?"
"In three months."
Why did the blonde only tie one shoe? Because on the bottom it said "Taiwan" (Tie one)
Why shouldn't you even think about dating the blond outfielder who got hit in the head by a baseball?
Because she's a bad catch.
A Blond walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor, what’s the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!" The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing.
She calls the police and reports a theft.
When the police officer comes, he looks at the blond who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted!
What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes? She sticks it in the microwave!
What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.
A blond meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic.
"Everything ok with your car now?"
"Yes, thank goodness," the blond replies.
"Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?"
"Yeah, but he didn't. I was so relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!"
How do you keep a blond busy for 2 days?
Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.
Why do blondes wear ponytails? To hide the valve stem!
Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!
How do you change a blonde's mind? A1: Blow in her ear. A2: Buy her another beer.
Why do blondes take the pill? So they know what day of the week it is.
How do you keep a blond busy for 2 days? Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.