Funny News Headlines

Enjoy the funniest news headline one liners, most of which come from real newspapers!

Funny News Headlines

Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
An Australian army vehicle worth $74,000 has gone missing after being painted with camouflage.
30 Year Friendship Ends At Alter
County to Pay $250,000 to Advertise Lack of Funds
Stolen Prosthetic Arm Discovered in a Secondhand Shop.
“I Thought He Was Going to Kill Me”: One Woman’s Harrowing Misunderstanding of How Haircuts Work
Republicans Turned Off By Size Of Obama’s Package
Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling Of Isolation
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen In Years
Child’s Death Ruins Couple’s Holiday
Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency
Lawmen From Mexico Barbecue Guests
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
Grandmother Of Eight Makes Hole In One
Miners Refuse To Work After Death
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Stolen Painting Found By Tree
Kicking Baby Considered Healthy
Juvenile Court Tries Shooting Defendant
Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Dealers Will Hear Car Talk At Noon
Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing In Killing
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus To 66
Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In Ten Years
Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers