Funny News Headlines

Enjoy the funniest news headline one liners, most of which come from real newspapers!

Funny News Headlines

Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
Federal Agents raid gun shop, find weapons
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
Goldfish Is Saved From Drowning
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Dealers Will Hear Car Talk At Noon
Stolen Prosthetic Arm Discovered in a Secondhand Shop.
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Child’s Death Ruins Couple’s Holiday
Crash courses for private pilots - The Daily Telegraph
An Australian army vehicle worth $74,000 has gone missing after being painted with camouflage.
Foul Play Suspected In Death Of Man Found Handless, Bound And Hanged
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe out Literacy.
Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency
Kicking Baby Considered Healthy
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus To 66
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing In Killing
Deaf mute gets new hearing
Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group.
“I Thought He Was Going to Kill Me”: One Woman’s Harrowing Misunderstanding of How Haircuts Work
Miners Refuse To Work After Death
Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors
Man is Fatally Slain.
CRIME: Sheriff Asks For 13.7% Increase
Miners Refuse to Work after Death.
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges.
Alzheimer's Center Prepares For An Affair To Remember.
Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed The Needy
Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
Hypochondriacs aren't OK
Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen In Years
30 Year Friendship Ends At Alter
County to Pay $250,000 to Advertise Lack of Funds
Two Soviet Ships Collide - One Dies.
Stolen Painting Found By Tree
Filming in cemetery angers residents - The Evening Standard
Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder.
Circumcision Now Seen As Pointless.
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Lawmen From Mexico Barbecue Guests
Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling Of Isolation
Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
Bodies Needed To Look After Graveyard
Flashier Great Tits Produce Stronger Sperm, Bird Study Shows.