Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.