"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
– Dave Barry
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
– Steven Wright
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
"Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while."
"There is no WiFi in the forest but you will find a better connection."
"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
"Everyone’s a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. But everyone’s sharing a generous amount of love."
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“If you don’t like how I drive, get off the sidewalk.”
"People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal."
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
"Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think."
- Robert Henri
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
"I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation. Just in case."
"Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland."
“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.”
— Susan Heller
"Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad."
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."
- Rebecca West
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
"Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery."
- Douglas Horton
"I wish I was a postcard. For under a dollar, I could travel to any location in the world."
"It's amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?"
- Zig Ziglar
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
“The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not communicating with the inventor of luggage wheels.”
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.”