What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!
Why did the daddy rabbit go to the barber?
He had a lot of little hares.
Q: Did you hear the one about the virus?
A: Never mind, I don't want to spread it around.
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue
Q: Doctor, I keep hearing a ringing sound.
A: Then answer the phone!
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? "Where's Popcorn?"
Did you hear about the vampire bicycle that went round biting people's arms off? It was a vicious cycle.
Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Knock knock…
Who’s there?
Voodoo.
Voodoo who?
Voodoo you think you are?
What kind of button won't unbutton? A bellybutton!
What do you get when you cross Sonic The Hedgehog and Curious George? 2 Fast 2 Curious
Why can’t you ever tell a joke around glass?
It could crack up.
What did the femur say to the patella? I kneed you.
What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer? The Space bar!
Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
What did the M&M go to college? Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
What did the tie say to the hat? A. You go on ahead and I'll hang around
Who can shave 10 times a day and still have a beard? A barber.
What's the difference between a cat and a frog? A Cat has nine lives but a Frog croaks every night!
Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.
What do you call a computer floating in the ocean? A Dell Rolling in the Deep.
What do you call a sheep with no head and no legs? A cloud!
Why did the scientist go to the tanning salon? Because he was a paleontologist.
What's taken before you get it? Your picture.
What did the man say to the wall? One more crack like that and I'll plaster ya!
Why do ducks have tail feathers?
To cover their buttquacks.
What did the earth say to all the other planets?
Wow you guys have no life.
Why doesn't iron form a good bond with other metals?
Because it has rust issues!
What do you call a man with no body and just a nose? Nobody nose.
How did the farmer mend his pants? With cabbage patches!
Why is a baseball team similar to a muffin? They both depend on the batter.
Knock, knock
Who’s There?
Annie
Annie Who?
Annie thing you can do, I can do better.
"Mom look! I’m a 3D printer!"
"Ugh Tommy, close the door when you poop."
What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!
What do you call a condiment with a hit single? a must"heard"
Why did the robber take a bath? Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
What is a tree's favorite drink? Root beer!
What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business!
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An Investigator
Have you heard the joke about the butter? I better not tell you, it might spread. How do baseball players stay cool? They sit next to their fans.
Why do sharks swim in saltwater?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
What did the daddy chimney say to the baby chimney? You are to little to smoke!
What do you call a book that's about the brain? A mind reader.
Where do crayons go on vacation? Color-ado!
What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream? Depeche a la Mode.
Why did the giraffe get bad grades? He had his head in the clouds.
What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch
Q: What did the dentist get for an award?
A: A little plaque
Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud