What do bulls do when they go shopping? They CHARGE!
What do you call a very rude bird?
A mockingbird!
What's easy to get into but hard to get out of? Trouble
What’s a snake’s strongest subject in school?
Hiss-tory.
What runs but doesn't get anywhere? A refrigerator.
Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.
Who can shave 10 times a day and still have a beard? A barber.
What kind of emotions do noses feel? Nostralgia. Why did the dog cross the road? To get to the "barking" lot!
What caused the airline to go bankrupt? Runway inflation.
What do you get when you cross Speedy Gonzales with a country singer? Arriba McEntire.
What did one elevator say to the other elevator? I think I'm coming down with something!
What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny!
Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
What do you call a computer floating in the ocean? A Dell Rolling in the Deep.
What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.
What did the snowman ask the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn't move? The road!
What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter? Jellyfish!
Knock knock…
Who’s there?
Voodoo.
Voodoo who?
Voodoo you think you are?
What do you call a dentist in the army? A drill sergeant
What goes up when the rain comes down? An umbrella.
What time is it when people are throwing pieces of bread at your head?
Time to duck.
What do you get when you cross the Godfather with an attorney? An offer you can't understand.
Which is the building is the largest? The library because it has the most stories.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? He wanted to get to the bottom.
Why did the computer break up with the internet? There was no "Connection".
What never asks questions but receives a lot of answers? the Telephone.
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware? Idaho... Alaska!
What do you call two fat people having a chat? A heavy discussion.
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!
What do you get if you a cross a card game with a typhoon? Bridge over troubled water.
A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof."
The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price."
"Yea but that would make no sense." replied the dog.
Where do cows go on December 31st?
A moo year’s eve party.
Why do vampires seem sick?
They’re always coffin.
What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch
What do you call sad coffee?" Despresso.
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them
What do you call a boy who finally stood up to the bullies? An ambulance.
Q: What did one tooth say to the other tooth?
A: Thar's gold in them fills!
Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks? Neither, they both weigh a ton!
Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath? She still hasn't gotten all the hair off her tongue.
What did a sign say outside the pet shop? Buy 1 dog get 1 flea!
How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
Why did the two 4's skip lunch? They already 8 (ate).
Did you hear about the two bed bugs who met in the mattress? They got married in the spring.
What do you call a gangsta snowman? Froze-T
What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt!
What do you call a ghosts mom and dad? Transparents
Did you hear the joke about the roof? Never mind, it's over your head!