Cops Jokes

A man is doing 20 over the speed limit on the highway when a cop pulls him over. The man rolls his window down as the cop approaches, who says, "Sir, any reason you're driving so fast?" "Well," the guy says, "I've recently decided to try beekeeping, and I need to get the bees in my trunk home A.S.A.P." The officer squints. "You have bees in your trunk?" "I'm still new to bee keeping, sir. I didn't know where else to put them," he says. In disbelief, the cop says, "You're lying. Pop the trunk." "Do I have to?" the guy asks. "Do it or I'm writing you up for reckless driving and obstruction," the officer says. So the man pops the trunk. A thick cloud of angry wasps explodes out. The cop makes a break for it as they swarm him, and as he flees he cries, "You said you had bees!" And the guy leans out his window and goes, "Those aren't bees!?"

2 policemen went on patrol and at 4 o'clock at night when they suddenly saw an older man walking alone in the street wobbling and barely walking a straight line. They stopped him for questioning, make sure he's not drunk in public or getting into a car to drive home. "Where does sir come from please?" They asked him. "I come from the best place in the world!" He answered in a very slushed voice. "This is my favorite bar that has the best drinks and the nicest girls! Each one is friendlier than the next!" The man continued and winked at the cops. "It sounds like a great place." Said one of the officers. "And where are you going at a time like this? Shouldn't you be in bed?" "What? sleep!? No way, I'm on my way to a lecture on alcohol addiction and its effects on the body, the harms of smoking and proper social behavior." "Reaaaally?" an officer said dubiously, exchanging knowing looks with his partner. "Are you sure you didn't drink too much tonight? I seriously doubt anyone is giving lectures on these topics at a time like this." The man sighed and said, "Tell that to my wife...