Political Jokes

Jokes about politicians, about political institutes or that have a political statement.

The Almost-Perfect Suit
A young banker decided to get his first tailor-made suit. So he went to the finest tailor in town and got measured for a suit. A week later he went in for his first fitting. He put on the suit and he looked fabulous, he felt that in this suit he can do business. As he was preening himself in front of the mirror, he reached down to put his hands in the pockets and to his surprise, he noticed that there were no pockets. He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him, "Didn't you tell me you were a banker?" The young man answered, "Yes, I did." "Weird," the tailor said, "who ever heard of a banker with his hands in his own pockets?"
A Young Scot Attends An English University
Donald MacDonald from the Scottish Highlands, went to study Law at a renowned and austere English university and was living in the hall of residence with all the other students there. After he had been there a month, his old mother came to visit him. "And how do you find the English students, Donald?" she asked. "Mother," he replied, "they're such terrible, noisy people... ...The one on that side keeps banging his head on the wall and won't stop... ...The one on the other side screams and screams all night." "Oh Donald! How do you manage to put up with these awful noisy English neighbors?" She asked her son. Donald replied enthusiastically: "Mother, I do nothing. I simply ignore them. I just stay here quietly, playing my bagpipes."
The Social Security Letter
To: The Social Security Commissioner Dear Commissioner, My name is Charles Wright and I live on First Street. I would like to present before you the following story: 'Many years ago, I married a widow out of love who had an 18-year-old daughter. After the wedding, my father came to visit a number of times, and suddenly he fell in love with my step-daughter. My father eventually married her without my authorization. As a result, my step-daughter legally became my step-mother and my father my son-in-law. My father's wife (also my step-daughter) and my step-mother, gave birth to a son who is my grandchild because I am the husband of my step-daughter's wife. This boy is also my brother, as the son of my father. All at once, my wife became a grandmother, because she is the mother of my father's wife. Therefore, it appears that I am also my wife's grandchild. A short time after these events, my wife gave birth to a son, who became my father's brother-in-law, the step-son of my father's wife, and my uncle. My son is also my step-mother's brother, and through my step-mother, my wife has become a grandmother and I have become my own grandfather. In light of the above mentioned, I would like to know the following: Does my son, who is also my uncle, my father's son-in-law, and my step-mother's brother fulfill the requirements for receiving childcare benefits? Sincerely yours, Charles Wright
The Government Employee
A government employee sat in his office, and out of boredom, decided to see what was inside his old filing cabinet. He poked through the contents and came across an old brass lamp he's never seen before. "This will look good on my mantel," he said, and took it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie suddenly appeared. "Noble sir," he thundered. "You have three wishes you may ask of me." "Alright," said the government clerk. "I would like an ice-cold Coke right now." He gets his Coke and drinks it. Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. "I wish to be on an island with beautiful women, who find me irresistible." Suddenly, he's on an island with gorgeous women eyeing him lustfully. He tells the genie his third and last wish. "I wish I'd never have to work again." Instantly, he was back in his government office.
A Neo-Nazi Walks into a Bar
A Neo-Nazi walks into a bar, looks around, and notices an older orthodox Jewish man seated at a nearby table. Barman, he says, "A round on me, for all your patrons, but not for the old Jewish geezer right there." As everyone in the bar receives their drinks, he looks directly at the Jew with a nasty little smile. Surprisingly the Jew nods his head and sends a warm smile back. The Neo-Nazi is somewhat miffed, as this was not the reaction he expected. So he goes back to the bar. "Barman, a second round for everyone but him, and this time take it all from the top shelf." The Neo-Nazi looks again at the Jew and notices that he is STILL smiling back, and even warmer than before "Is that Jew a complete fool or what?" he asks the barman. The bartender shrugs: "Well he does own the bar."
The Cruel King and His Dogs
There once was a cruel king who enjoyed executing whoever he pleased. A minister once gave him wrong advice the king decided to have him killed. He ordered that the minister to be thrown to the ravenous and vicious guard dogs. The minister said, "I have served you loyally for 10 years and you do THIS?" The king was without mercy. The Minister fell on his knees pleaded, "Please give me 10 days before you throw me to the dogs." The king thought about it, weighed his curiosity vs. his blood lust, and finally agreed. In those 10 days the minister went to the keeper of the dogs and told him he wanted to feed the dogs for the next 10 days. The guard was baffled, but he agreed. So the minister started feeding the dogs, caring for them, washing them, providing all sorts of comforts for them. When the 10 days were up. The king ordered that the minister be thrown to the dogs as sentenced. When he was thrown in, everyone was amazed at what they saw. The ferocious dogs were wagging their tails, playing with the condemned minister and even licking his feet. The king was baffled at what he saw. "What happened to the my vicious dogs?!" He growled. The minister then said, "I served the dogs for only 10 days and they didn't forget my service. I served you for 10 years and you forgot all of it at my first mistake!" The King then realized his own great mistake. The next day, he replaced the dogs with crocodiles.
A Matter of Experience
It was a beautiful day, and at a little fish restaurant a cry suddenly goes up: "My son! My son is choking! Someone help!" Many of the diners try all kinds of techniques, but none work and the son's face is quickly turning blue. Then a man from a nearby table stands up and says: "Don't worry, I have experience with these kinds of things." He walks over calmly to the boy, leans down and grabs him hard in the testicles. He squeezes and a fish bone comes flying out of the mouth of the child. But he is still choking, so the man takes a step back and kicks the boy savagely in the ribs. Another bone flies out and the child can suddenly breathe. Everyone cheers and claps the man on the back as he slowly walks back to his table and sits down. "THANK YOU! THANK YOU!" cry the happy mother and father of the boy. "Are you a doctor?" "No," says the man. "I work for the tax department."
A Scientific Roast
A philosopher, a mathematician, a chemist and a physicist were at coffee shop. The physicist turns to the chemist sitting next to him and says "You know, chemistry is just applied physics!" They all laugh a bit at the chemist. The mathematician turns to the physicist sitting next to him and says "You know, physics is just applied mathematics!" They all share a laugh at the physicist. At which point, the philosopher interjects, "And mathematics is just applied philosophy!" The laughter roars even louder. The mathematician turns to the philosopher and says: "That's funny. Now shut up and bring me the coffee I ordered."
The Soldier, the Judge and the Politician
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, quietly, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife." "What type of bra?" asked the clerk. "Type?" inquires the man, a bit out of his element. "There's more than one type?" "Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed him a sea of bras in every shape, size color and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three main styles of bras to choose from." Said the saleslady. "The soldier, the judge or the politician. Which would you prefer?" Now befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them. The saleslady responded, "Well it's quite simple. The soldier defends strategic locations from foreign hands, the judge makes sure everything is equal and balanced, and the politician blows everything out of proportion."
The Irish Father and His Son
An Irishman took his son to the bar on his birthday to buy him his first drink. The father bought his son a stout, but he didn't like it and didn't want to drink it. The father decided to drink it for him and ordered an ale instead. He didn't like it either. So, the father drank it and ordered him a cider. Lager, cider, cream ale... he didn't like any of them, so the father drank them and ordered whisky instead. He didn't like any of the Irish whiskeys the father ordered, so the old man drank them and decided to give up. By the time they left the bar. The father was so drunk he could barely push his son's stroller home.
The Different Prices
Three explorers became lost in the jungle and wandered for days with no food and little water... One day, just as they were finally about to give up, they crawled into a clearing and there right in front of them stood a Cannibal's restaurant. Out front near the entrance was a large menu board. With the little energy they had left, they dragged themselves across the clearing and looked up to see the following menu: They struggled into the establishment, dragged themselves to a table, and a waiter came to take their order. Before they ordered, one of the explorers asked the waiter, "Can you help me understand your menu? The first two items are priced about the same, but the third item, the politician, is priced so much higher. Why is that?" "Are you kidding?" replied the waiter. "Did you ever try to CLEAN one of those suckers?"
Russia vs. Irish Pub
Putin is sitting in his office when his telephone rings "Hallo, Mr. Putin!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy Down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on ya!" "Well, Paddy," Putin replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?" "Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is meself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight!" Putin paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command." "Begoora!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring ya back. Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. "Mr. Putin, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!" "And what equipment would that be Paddy?" Putin asks. "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Marphy's farm tractor." Putin sighs amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke" "Saints preserve us!" says Paddy. "I'll have to get back to ya." Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. Putin, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well." Putin was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!" "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I will have to ring ya back." Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Putin! I am sorry to inform ya that we have had to call off the war." "Really? I am sorry to hear that," says Putin. "Why the sudden change of heart?" "Well," says Paddy, "we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness and finally decided there's no way we can feed 200,000 Russian prisoners."
The Outback Army Recruit
An Army Recruit from the Australian outback sends a letter home: 'Dear Mum & Dad, I am well. Hope you are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm - tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack - nothin’!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there’s lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing! At brekky ya get cereal, fruit, and eggs but there’s no kangaroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don’t get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are dead because we’ve been on a ’route march’ - geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!! This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin’ - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a possum’s bum and it don’t move and it’s not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka show last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target! You don’t even load your own cartridges, they comes in little boxes, and ya don’t have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload! Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it’s not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster. Turns out I’m not a bad boxer either and it looks like I’m the best the platoon’s got, and I’ve only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he’s 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I’m only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin’ wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer. I can’t complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how good it is. Your loving daughter, Sheila.'
The Bungee Jump in Mexico
Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second. "You know David, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico." David thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they’ll need – a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. The first guy jumps... He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the David notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, David isn’t able catch him, he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, David misses him. The first guy falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up – he’s got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, David finally catches him this time and says, "Arquette! What happened? Was the cord too long?" The first guy lifts his head weakly and says, "No, the cord was fine. But David, tell me... what the heck is a piñata?"
The KGB and the Rabbit
Years ago, the CIA, the Mossad and the KGB were tasked to find a rabbit in a dense forest as a friendly competition between agencies. The CIA, returns with a rabbit in 24 hours, explaining that they'd used an array of satellites pinpointing the location of the rabbit in record time. The Mossad returns with a rabbit in 48 hours, stating that they'd used a network of informants and ground operatives to locate the rabbit with a fraction of the cost. The KGB agents return after 5 days with a giant bear. Surprised and bemused, the other parties laugh and say to the KGB that they were supposed to bring back a rabbit! The KGB agents replied: "This is a rabbit, ask it for yourself if you don't believe us." As they all turn towards the bear. The bear glances at the KGB agents fearfully and says: "I'm a rabbit."
The Mayor's Nightly Visit
A new mayor of Chicago is chosen. That night, Franklin Delano Roosevelt appears. The mayor asks him "What can I do to make Chicago even greater?". FDR responds: "Do everything for the people". The mayor wakes up startled, and mutters "Lies!" under his breath. The next night, George Washington appears in the dreams of the mayor. He asks "What can I do to make Chicago even greater?", to which GW responds "Never tell a lie". The mayor wakes up startled, and curses under his breath. "That's not possible!" The next night, Abraham Lincoln appears in the mayor's dreams. The mayor asks "What can I do to make Chicago even greater?" Abraham looks at the mayor, scratches his beard, and takes a while to answer. "Visit a theater."
The Medical Opinion About Brexit
Should Brexit take place? The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologist's had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought May had a lot of nerve. Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted. Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!" The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it. Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow. The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would "put a whole new face on the matter." The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea. Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no. In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the as*holes in Parliament.
Those Darn Time Differences
One of the Russian Ambassadors comes to President Putin and nervously tells him he'd like to resign. "Why?" Putin asks him "Ah, Mr. President, I can't find myself with these time differences! I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep, I last woke you up at 4 in the morning, but I thought it was only evening, I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday, I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow. "Well, these are just minor inconveniences! Says Putin. "Do you remember when that Polish plane crashed with the president? I called them to express my condolences, but the plane hasn't taken off yet!"
The Panhandling Strategy
Jose and Carlos are panhandlers that panhandle in different areas of town. Carlos panhandles just as long as Jose but only collects $2-3 every day. Jose brings home a suitcase FULL of $10 bills every day, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend. One day, Carlos asked Jose: "I work just as long and hard as you do, but how do you bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day?" "Look at your sign, what does it say?" replies Jose. Carlos' sign reads: "I have no work, a wife and six kids to support." Jose says: "no wonder you only get $2-3." 'Carlos says: "So what does your sign say then?" Jose shows Carlos his sign - it reads: "I only need another $10 to move back to Mexico."
Shenanigans in a Dark Tunnel
Our story starts a few years ago, as a train is speeding along through the city. Four people sit in one of its compartments: A beautiful, vivacious young woman, an old, matronly woman, a poor man and a rich man. Suddenly, the train goes through a tunnel. It is completely dark. Then a loud kiss and an equally powerful slap are heard. When the train exits the tunnel, the rich man is holding the side of his face in agony, while the poor man is grinning uncontrollably. The old matronly woman thinks: "Now that's a fine young woman, the poor man tries to steal a kiss in the tunnel and the lady slaps him one – and rightly so!" The young woman thinks: "Now that's a strange rich man - he'd rather kiss that old hag than me." The rich man thinks: "Now that's a smart poor man, he steals a kiss and I’m the one who gets slapped." The poor man is thinking: "Good, soon we'll be entering another tunnel, I'll kiss the back of my hand again and slap that millionaire silly!”
Why the CIA is Special
The Police Department, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The police go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming. The CIA goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
Were Adam and Eve Brits, French or Russian?
A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British." They pondered this possibility, but the Frenchman and the Russian soon shake their heads in disagreement. "Nonsense," says the Frenchman. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French." Although the Russian and the Brit agreed on this point, there still seemed to be something amiss. "No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. Clearly, they are Russian."
What To Wear to The IRS
A man, called to testify at the Internal Revenue Service (IRS), asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. "Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper," the accountant replied. Then he asked his lawyer the same question but got the opposite advice. "Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie." Confused, the man went to his priest, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution to the dilemma. "Let me tell you a story," replied the Priest. "A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. 'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck." But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice. "Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V neck right down to your navel." The man protested: "What does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?!" "Simple", replied the Priest. "It doesn't matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed!"
The First Jewish President
The year is 2032 and the United States has elected the first woman as well as the first Jewish president, Sarah Goldstein. She calls up her mother a few weeks after Election Day and says, "So, Mom, I assume you'll be coming to my inauguration?" "I don't think so. It's a ten-hour drive, your father isn't as young as he used to be, and my arthritis is acting up again." "Don't worry about it, Mom, I'll send Air Force One to pick you up and take you home. And a limousine will pick you up at your door." "I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy-schmantzy; what on earth would I wear?" Sarah replies, "I'll make sure you have a wonderful gown, custom-made by the best designer in New York." "Honey," Mom complains, "you know I can't eat those rich foods you and your friends like to eat." The President-to-be responds, "Don't worry Mom. The entire affair is going to be handled by the best caterer in New York; kosher all the way Mom, I really want you to come." So Mom reluctantly agrees and on January 20th, Sarah Goldstein is being sworn in as President of the United States. In the front row sits the new President's mother, who leans over to a senator sitting next to her and says, "You see that woman over there with her hand on the Torah, becoming President of the United States?" The senator whispers back, "Yes, I do." Her mom flushes with pride and says: "Her brother is a doctor."
Rabbi, We Have a Problem!
Two Jewish men knock on Rabbi Levi's door. "What can I do for you gentlemen?" Said the Rabbi once he opened his door. They explain to him they have an argument and cannot resolve it. The Rabbi agrees to help them. "What is the argument about?" he asks. First Man: "Black is a color!" Second Man: "NO! it is not!" First Man: "It is a color!" Second Man: "Rabbi, is black a color?" "Well, sure..." Said the confused Rabbi. First Man: "See, I told you. And so is white!" Second Man: "White is not a color!" First Man: "Rabbi?" Rabbi: "Well, yes, white is a color." First Man: "See? I told you Moishe, I sold you a Color TV!"
The Timing Issue
A few decades ago, three prisoners were sitting in a Soviet gulag. One of them asks the two others: "So, what did you do to be put in here?" The first one answers: "Well, I arrived late at the factory, and so they accused me of slowing down the Revolution and the victory of the Proletariat." The second one answers: "Well, I arrived early at the factory, and so they accused me of trying to be show up my comrades. Then they turn to the one who asked the question: "How about you, then?" "Well, I arrived at the factory right on time, so they accused me of having a watch from the West."
The Wise Old Sculptor
Many years ago, a smart old sculptor was finally allowed to leave the Soviet Union and emigrate to the United States where his son lived. When he was searched at the Moscow airport, the customs official found a bust of Lenin. Customs: "What is that?" Old man: "What is that? What is that?! Do not say ‟What is that?” say ‟Who is that?” That is Lenin! The genius who thought up this worker’s paradise!" The official smiled and let the old man through. The old man arrived at JFK airport, where an American customs official found the bust of Lenin. Customs: "What is that?" Old man:" What is that? What is that?! Do not say ‟What is that?” say ‟Who is that?” That is Lenin! The bastard! I’ll put him on display in my toilet for all the years he prevented an old man from having a good life." The official smiled and let him through. When he arrived at his family’s house in Brooklyn, his grandson saw him unpack the bust. Grandson: "Who is that, grandpa?" Old man: "Who is that? Who is that?! Don’t say ‟Who is that?” say ‟What is that?” That, my child, is eight pounds of gold!"
Can You Keep an Eye On My Car?
A tourist climbed out of his hire-car in downtown Washington, D.C. He was intent on visiting the White House and take in the city's other world-famous sights, but he felt hungry so he decided to pop into a store to buy himself a snack. As he pulled up to the curb outside the store, he saw a well-to-do man standing on the sidewalk. He said to him: "Listen, I'm going to be only a couple of minutes. Would you watch my car while I run into this store?" "What?" the man huffed. "Do you realize that I am a member of the United States Senate?" "Well no," the tourist said, "I didn't realize that. But it's all right. I'll trust you anyway."
3 Russian Prisoners
Three Russian men are sitting in a jail cell together. One of them asks the two others: "So what did you do?" The first one answers: "Well, I arrived late at the factory, and so they accused me of slowing down the Revolution and the victory of the Proletariat." The second one answers: "Well, I arrived early at the factory, and so they accused me of wanting to be favored and promoted over my fellow workers." Then they turn to the one who asked the question: "How about you, then?" "Well, I arrived at the factory right on time, and so they accused me of having a watch from the West.
What's Written On This One!?
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read: "Dear God, I am an 83-year-old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension check. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me? Sincerely, Edna" The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends. Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read: "Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. "By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it must have been those bastards at the Post Office!"