One of my ancestors was once hired by Henry VIII to teach his son to play the trumpet
He was a Tudor tooter tutor.
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
What does a trumpet and a baseball have in common? People cheer when you hit them with a bat.
What did the trumpet pharaoh do when his girlfriend told him to pull out?
Toot and come in.
I told the person who was playing my trumpet,
To stop pushing my buttons.
What should you do if you can't afford a fancy trumpet?
Buy a frugelhorn
If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
What does a trumpet and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
What do you call an annoying person who plays the trumpet?
A brasshole.
How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
I taught a dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground.
We went from Barking to Tooting in 20 minutes!
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
What do you call a berry that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!
What do you call a Pharaoh playing a trumpet?
Tooting’khamun
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
Trumpester: Did you hear my last recital? Friend: I hope so.