Funny News Headlines

Enjoy the funniest news headline one liners, most of which come from real newspapers!

Funny News Headlines

Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
Miners Refuse To Work After Death
Two Soviet Ships Collide - One Dies.
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
30 Year Friendship Ends At Alter
Stolen Prosthetic Arm Discovered in a Secondhand Shop.
Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed The Needy
Miners Refuse to Work after Death.
“I Thought He Was Going to Kill Me”: One Woman’s Harrowing Misunderstanding of How Haircuts Work
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges.
Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better
Two Sisters Reunite after Eighteen Years at Checkout Counter.
An Australian army vehicle worth $74,000 has gone missing after being painted with camouflage.
Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder.
Lawmen From Mexico Barbecue Guests
Stolen Painting Found By Tree
Bodies in garden are a plant says wife
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Federal Agents raid gun shop, find weapons
Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing In Killing
Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors
Foul Play Suspected In Death Of Man Found Handless, Bound And Hanged
CRIME: Sheriff Asks For 13.7% Increase
Dealers Will Hear Car Talk At Noon
Filming in cemetery angers residents - The Evening Standard
Flashier Great Tits Produce Stronger Sperm, Bird Study Shows.
Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In Ten Years
Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
Crash courses for private pilots - The Daily Telegraph
Circumcision Now Seen As Pointless.
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen In Years
Goldfish Is Saved From Drowning
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe out Literacy.
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts.
Deaf mute gets new hearing
Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling Of Isolation
Hypochondriacs aren't OK
Gas rig men grilled by villagers - The Oxford Times
Kicking Baby Considered Healthy
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group.
Four Battered In Fish And Chip Shop
Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus To 66
Juvenile Court Tries Shooting Defendant
Bodies Needed To Look After Graveyard
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped