Funny News Headlines

Enjoy the funniest news headline one liners, most of which come from real newspapers!

Funny News Headlines

Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts.
Two Sisters Reunite after Eighteen Years at Checkout Counter.
Stolen Painting Found By Tree
Lawmen From Mexico Barbecue Guests
Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
Goldfish Is Saved From Drowning
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe out Literacy.
Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed The Needy
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Hypochondriacs aren't OK
County to Pay $250,000 to Advertise Lack of Funds
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Two Soviet Ships Collide - One Dies.
Federal Agents raid gun shop, find weapons
Dealers Will Hear Car Talk At Noon
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus To 66
Foul Play Suspected In Death Of Man Found Handless, Bound And Hanged
Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency
An Australian army vehicle worth $74,000 has gone missing after being painted with camouflage.
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder.
Filming in cemetery angers residents - The Evening Standard
Gas rig men grilled by villagers - The Oxford Times
30 Year Friendship Ends At Alter
Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In Ten Years
Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
Kicking Baby Considered Healthy
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group.
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen In Years
Circumcision Now Seen As Pointless.
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges.
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
Miners Refuse To Work After Death
Flashier Great Tits Produce Stronger Sperm, Bird Study Shows.
Juvenile Court Tries Shooting Defendant
Bodies Needed To Look After Graveyard
Miners Refuse to Work after Death.
Grandmother Of Eight Makes Hole In One
Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better
Man is Fatally Slain.
Alzheimer's Center Prepares For An Affair To Remember.
Deaf mute gets new hearing
CRIME: Sheriff Asks For 13.7% Increase
Bodies in garden are a plant says wife
Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling Of Isolation