What is an astronauts favourite type of shirt?
Apollo
What currency do astronauts use in space?
Starbucks.
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket.
Why does NASA give astronauts pencils to use in space?
Because they've got the Write Stuff.
I could have been an astronaut...
but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
My dads astronaut friend ate pizza in space
He said it was out of this world.
When should astronauts retire?
When they start spacing out.
What is an astronaut's favorite candy bar?
Milky way.
Why do astronauts use linux?
because you can't open windows in space.
What are Astronauts doing when they do a mistake?
They Apollogize
What do you do when your friend is a claustrophobic astronaut?
You give him a little space.
What would’ve happen if the Apollo astronauts stayed on the lunar surface for too long?
They would’ve been lunatics.
What spread do astronauts use on their toast?
. . . Space jam
An astronaut broke up with his girlfriend
Apparently he didn't love her to the moon and back.
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped in gum?
He got stuck in Orbit.
Where do astronauts go for lunch?
Apollo Loco.
Why do all kids want to be an astronaut?
Because there is no pressure.
What do you say to an astronaut looking for a car park
There's a spaceman.
How did the astronaut die?
exposure to Mercury.
Dud you know Astronauts said steaks are better in space?
They're a little meteor.
Why don't pets make good astronauts?
They're afraid of the spay station
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
Why did the cosmonaut take his dog to the vet?
He came down with a stellar case of lunar tics.
Where do Astronauts go to the bathroom?
Where no one has gone before.
How do astronauts cook their meals?
With a Space Heater!
Do you know what is the favorite key of the astronauts?
The Spacebar.
How do astronauts prepare for a birthday party
They planet.
SpaceX is launching astronauts today with a new space catapult
Bringing forth a new era of crude spaceflight.