“If Monday were a person, it would be a boring friend who always forces us to do what we don’t want.”
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“I don’t like when I'm all stress-free and peacefully relaxing on the couch and then, out of nowhere, Monday comes along and punches you right off the couch!”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“My Week is like: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.”
“Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix.”
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.”
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”
“Take a deep breath and try to relax. I promise – Monday will be over soon.”
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so that you know just how much fun time you get to have. Then smash your clocks so you won't know when Monday starts.”
“Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.”
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
“Why is Monday so far from Friday? And why is Friday so close to Monday?”
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.”
“It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause, that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.”
— Prince Rogers Nelson
“Enjoy every second of Sunday, for when you least expect Monday comes to haunt you.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“Sunday morning my head is bad. But it's worth all the time I had. But I've got to go and get some rest. For Monday is a mess!”
– Dave Bartholomew, Blue Monday
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.”
– Lisa Mantchev
“If Monday was a gift, I would happily return it to the person who gave it to me.”
“You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.”
— Andrea L’Artiste
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive.”
“Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”
“Never make your favorite song the alarm for Monday morning; you’ll hate it for years.”
“Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”
– George Leedy
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“The worst moment today has happened. That was when the alarm went off and I realized it was Monday.”
“Monday should be optional.”
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
“The only certainty in this life is that Monday comes for everyone. A little humor to face at the beginning of the week always goes well. How about starting Monday smiling?”
“Good morning. Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”
“If I was elected president, the first thing I would do would be to eliminate all Mondays and lengthen the weekend one more day.”
“I have decided to cast my vote for any political candidate whose platform adds Monday to the weekend.”
“I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday.”
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“I don’t like Sunday nights because you have to wake up to a Monday morning.”
“SMONDAY: The moment when Sunday stops feeling like a Sunday and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.”
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“Hello, Monday! May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?”
“At the end of a rainbow, there’s a pot of gold. But when the weekend comes to an end, there’s only a Monday.”
“Monday I shall slay thee with my mighty cup of coffee.”