"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."
- Marsha Doble
“Eating words has never given me indigestion.”
Unknown
"My inner advisor is dying to heal me." - Astrid Alauda
"You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, 'Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out.'"
- Jim Gaffigan.
"When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms, their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture."
- Douglas Coupland
"Let's have a moment of silence for all those Americans who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride the stationary bicycle."
- Earl Blumenauer.
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Tomlin
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. he other two are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves"
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb
“Never eat more than you can lift.”
Miss Piggy
“It’s a bit unnerving That doctors call what they do practice.”
Unknown
“Anorexia is a disease not a fashion statement.”
Brooke
"Warning... I'm exercising, eating right and watching my alcohol intake... which means I'm sober, I'm cranky and I'm sore, so proceed with caution!"
"I go to the gym three days a week. You have to or else - I don't want to be the guy that dies shoveling snow."
- Douglas Coupland
"I will never break up with my gym. We just seem to workout."
- Unknown.
"Older people shouldn't eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get." —Robert Orben
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - G.K. Chesterton
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away."
- Robert M. Hutchins.
"I've always enjoyed poor health." —Taylor Caldwell
"Men make use of their illnesses at least as much as they are made use of by them." - Aldous Huxley
"Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don't exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray 'Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.'"
- Jack LaLanne
"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward." - John Mortimer
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." - Rodney Dangerfield
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” —Mark Twain
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." — Unknown
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
"My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass." - Leslie Grimutter
"We pay our gym membership for the permission to exercise in the gym, not for the owner(s) of the gym to exercise for us."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana.
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with ass****s." - William Gibson
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." —Erma Bombeck
"If your doctor's last name is Google, it's time to get a second opinion…" - Toni Bernhard, J.D.
"Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."
“Excercise? I thought you said extra fries.”
"I can sympathize with people's pains but not with their pleasures. There is something curiously boring about somebody else's happiness." - Aldous Huxley
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.”
Sammie
"My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit."
- Phyllis Dille
"I don't get why people pay to exercise in a gym when it's free to not exercise."
- Bridger Winegar
"Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge"- Don Kardong
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigeratir are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all"- Joey Adams
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook"- Julia Child
"How sickness enlarges the dimension of a man's self to himself!"- Charles Lamb
"A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends." - Kin Hubbard
"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?" —George Carlin
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
“I have removed all the bad food from my house, it was delicious.”
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
“I am convinced digestion is the great secret to life.”
Sydney Smith
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."- Steven Write
"Some people would fall in or out of love with you if you lose or gain a few kilos."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana