"I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," was the reply.
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman said happily.
A little while later she went into McDonald's and asked the counter girl the very same question.
The girl said, "I guess about 29."
The woman replied, "Nope I'm 50."
Now she was feeling really good about herself. She stopped in a drug store on her way down the street. She went up to the counter to get some mints and asked the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responded, "Oh, I'd say 30."
Again she proudly responded, "I am 50, but thank you!"
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asked an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replied, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going...
"Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then, can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."
They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of her.
She finally blurted out, "What the hell! Go ahead."
He slipped both of his hands under her bra and began to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounced and weighed each one of her bosoms. He gently pinched them as well. He pushed her assets together and rubbed them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she said, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"
He completed one last squeeze, removed his hands, and said, "Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman said, "That was incredible! How could you tell??"
"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
Why Has It Gone Hard? (Hilarious Joke)
Two boys are playing by a stream when they see a naked woman. One of the boys quickly runs off.
Joke: The Resemblance is Uncanny...
When a pastor is mistaken for a country singer while doing his rounds, he's quite taken aback, however he soon gets used to his new-found fame...
This Joke Starts With a Man Working Late
A businessman works late to be with his young secretary, but eventually makes his way home. He begins to think up his excuses...
Joke: Two Women Hit It Off In Arizona
A wise woman gets a lift from a younger woman while walking out in the Arizona desert. It isn't long before they get talking...
This Joke Starts With a Man On His Deathbed
A man lies on his deathbed, surrounded by his wife and four children. Three are tall and athletic, but the fourth... isn't. He asks his wife about them...
This Man Pushed a Button. He Had No Idea What It Will Do...
This man saw a button at the town square, he didn't realize what would happen when he pushed it.
Hilarious! Here Are 15 Animals Having a Really Bad Day...
Humans aren't the only ones who can have a really bad day every once in a while, and these 15 hilarious photos prove it!
Rowan Atkinson Gives a Most Hilarious Sermon!
Rowan Atkinson, the famous comedian, gives a sermon the likes of which you've never heard...
These Funny Restaurant Signs Will Have You Guffawing
The iconic Tex-Mex restaurant, El Arroyo is back with some more hilariously clever signs.
You've Got to Check Out This Very Funny Animal Compilation
If you love cute animals and are up for a good laugh, then this is the perfect video for you!
Are You Old? You'll Know It If...
There is some debate about when you can actually be considered old. Let's make it real simple. If you find these funny, you are probably old...
Do You Need These Weird Toys? No, But They’re Here Anyway
Shopping can be extremely boring, unless you stumble upon one of these ridiculous items on your next trip to the store...
16 Hilariously Terrible Maps That Will Make You Laugh
We’ve shown you plenty of interesting maps in the past. Today, let’s explore some of the most ridiculously useless maps of the world!
These Weird Road Signs Will Make You Laugh!
These outrageously funny street signs are certainly worth slowing down for!
13 Funny Palindromes That Will Make You Giggle
People have been enjoying palindromes for centuries - here are 13 funny examples that are sure to make crack you up.
These Signs Are Way Too Funny!
You know what time it is? It’s time for some hilariously funny sign!
Hilarious: Why You DON'T Send a Man to the Grocery Store
Sending a man grocery shopping - what could possibly go wrong?
Laugh Until You Cry with Mr. Bean's Ridiculous Antics
Enjoy 600 seconds of the most hilarious Mr. Bean moments that will leave you in stitches.
The Art of Comedy: A Hilarious Abbott & Costello Routine
Enjoy this rare vintage skit of the masters of comedy, Abbott & Costello.
These 15 Signs Are Beyond Funny!
Are you ready for your daily dose of laughs? We really hope you are, as this collection of 15 hilarious signs is beyond funny!
Hilarious: Some Guys REALLY Think Outside the Box...
Here are some of my favorite examples of male creativity at work.
Hilarious! These Kids REALLY Hate Shopping!
While loads of teenagers and adults simply love to shop till they drop, the same can't really be said for most kids, as these hilarious photos prove!
Tired of Inspiration Quotes? Try These Funny Posters
Enough of motivational quotes! Now, try some of these funny “demotivational” posters.
22 Of the Funniest Language Jokes and Puns
Time for some humor! Enjoy these 22 grammar puns & jokes.
Hilarious: These Signs Are as Funny as It Gets!
From clever puns to unintentionally hilarious signs, this epic collection of 16 funny signs has it all!
These Rude 'Chinese' Proverbs Got Me Laughing
Ok, so they may not really be Chinese, but they are certainly funny!
This Amusing Prank Involves a Frying Pan...
This prank video starts with a pan falling from up high...
Hilarious! What It Truly Means to Be a Grandparent
These Hilarious quotes by Gene Perret perfectly sum up life as a grandparent.
These Cats May Have Been Ninjas in a Past Life
Cats are talented when they put their mind to them, and this bunch seem to have developed some incredible skills!
Why Does This Man Pay to Get His Face Slapped?
This man pays to get his face slapped, why does he do it? Because it's a very funny prank!
These Cartoons Will Make You Laugh and Think...
This artist has an incredible knack for capturing the ironies and paradoxes arising from the use of technology in the modern world. View his illustrations here.
Collection: The Most Hilarious and Bizarre Signs
his wonderful collection will make you laugh out loud as we present you with some of the funniest signs you've ever seen!
Hilarious: You've Got a Lot of Explaining to Do, Mister!
This may be the most brilliant, funniest prank I've ever seen.
HILARIOUS: 14 Cat Comics That'll Make You Laugh Out Loud!
This hilarious cat comics, drawn by Scott Metzger, perfectly capture the nature of cats.
These Wacky Road Signs Are Worth Stopping For
These bizarre signs will add some humor to your everyday commute.
Simon's Cat Presents: A Day in the Life of a Cat!
This colored episode brings us a day in the life of Simon's Cat. Let's see what that looks like...
Classic Comedy: Lucy Goes to Work at a Chocolate Factory
What happens when Lucy and Ethel go to work at a factory?
Mrs Brown Does a Hilarious Strip Tease - for the Vicar!
After being hypnotized the night before, Mrs Brown is unaware that she is still under the spell. The vicar is coming round for tea. What could go wrong?
These Silly Photos Remind Us of the Funny Side of Christmas!
Christmas is always full of good cheer, but it can also be downright hilarious as well. Here are 20 memes to remind you how hilarious Christmas Can Be.
Classic Comedy: A Tennis Player's Breakfast
This sketch is all about how tennis players act on the court - and at breakfast!
As We Age, We Learn Some Hilarious Things...
The older you get, the more you realize what a funny thing life is.
These Amusing Animals Clearly Think They're People
If you thought our unique human traits set us apart from animals think again, because these pets clearly think they're human!
It's Not Fun Being Old, But Sometimes It's Funny...
Let me make your day with these photos that made almost made me spill my coffee this morning.
14 Hilariously Creative Doormats that Crack Me Up!
‘Welcome’ is certainly not the only thing a doormat can say, as these hilarious and unusual doormats show...