"I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," was the reply.
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman said happily.
A little while later she went into McDonald's and asked the counter girl the very same question.
The girl said, "I guess about 29."
The woman replied, "Nope I'm 50."
Now she was feeling really good about herself. She stopped in a drug store on her way down the street. She went up to the counter to get some mints and asked the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responded, "Oh, I'd say 30."
Again she proudly responded, "I am 50, but thank you!"
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asked an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replied, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going...
"Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then, can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."
They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of her.
She finally blurted out, "What the hell! Go ahead."
He slipped both of his hands under her bra and began to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounced and weighed each one of her bosoms. He gently pinched them as well. He pushed her assets together and rubbed them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she said, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"
He completed one last squeeze, removed his hands, and said, "Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman said, "That was incredible! How could you tell??"
"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
Hilarious: The Best of Little Johnny Jokes!
I'm always partial to a good Little Johnny joke, but when there's a collection of them in one place, you know there'll be people falling about laughing...
This Joke Starts With a Woman Joining a Country Club
A woman joins a country-club and sets out to play with the guys at 6.30am. She immediately impresses them with her golfing prowess...
Receptionist, You Must Come Quickly (Hilarious Joke)
A receptionist is alerted to the presence of a man outside the window of an old lady who's staying at the hotel. She goes to investigate the problem...
Cheeky Joke: The Doctor and the Stutterer
Enjoy this funny joke about a guy who wanted his stutter removed...
Cheeky Joke: Meeting the Parents
A biker just found himself the perfect Harley with a tube of Vaseline thrown in to protect it from the rain.Things start to go awry at his girlfriend's house...
This Joke Starts With a Man Working Late
A businessman works late to be with his young secretary, but eventually makes his way home. He begins to think up his excuses...
The Hilarious Antics of These Birds Will Make You Chuckle
Birds can be mean at times, but hilarious at the same time. Check out some of the funniest bird antics in this post.
Hilarious: These Silly Signs Will Lift Your Spirits!
Check out this collection of ridiculously funny signs that will make you chuckle and brighten your day.
Laugh out Loud at These Alternative Animal "Facts"
So-called animal experts have no idea about these facts. They're about to be revealed for the very first time, and rest assured that laughter will ensue!
These Terrific Signs Make Everyone Burst Out Laughing!
In this article, we feature 15 terrific signs that will make just about anyone laugh their heart out.
Add Humor to Your Bathroom With These Crazy Curtains
Add a touch of humor to your bathroom with these crazy shower curtains.
These 'Genius' Repairs Will Make You Laugh Out Loud!
These photos prove that being an amateur engineer for a day may not work out as well as you'd like!
The Famous Sketch that Made Millions Laugh!
Monty Python performed loads of hilarious sketches, but only this one gets me out of my chair and secretly practicing my own silly walks!
Hilarious: If You Love English You'll Love These Puns!
We’ve collected 14 side-splitting jokes and puns that highlight common grammatical mistakes, contain clever twists on words, and more!
This Simon's Cat Collection is All You Need for Smile Today!
Created by Simon Tofield in 2008, Simon's Cat is on a constant mission to get fed. Enjoy this hilarious collection of 16 of his most famous escapades.
14 Cat Fails That Definitely Won't Fail to Make You Laugh
If you're searching for pictures of cats who have immediately regretted their poor choices, you need look no further. Check out these hilarious cat fails.
Hilarious! 16 Photos of Cops Having a Good Time...
These 16 photos prove that police officers can have a cracking sense of humor!
Hilarious: Mr. Bean is Looking for Something...
Leave it to Mr. Bean to make it a hilarious search!
Language Humor: 15 Hilariously Bad Translation Fails
Translation isn’t for everyone and these pictures show exactly why.
Signs That Aren't Meant to Be Translated Except For Laughs!
These brilliant signs presumably have more accurate meanings when read in their own language, but in English, they're just hilarious!
These Rude 'Chinese' Proverbs Got Me Laughing
Ok, so they may not really be Chinese, but they are certainly funny!
COMEDY COLLECTION: Giggle at Mr. Bean's Funniest Antics
Mr. bean (Sir Rowan Atkinson) is one of comedy’s most memorable characters. Get your funny bone ready for some serious tickling, as we show you 18 of Mr. Bean's funniest skits ever.
Sea Lions Aren’t as Cute and Clumsy as They May Seem
The incredible hunting skills and abilities of the sea lion
Funny Jokes: And then the Fight Started...
The jokes in this collection all have a common theme - how to start a fight with your spouse!
Hilarious: 15 Signs You Love Coffee Just a Bit Too Much
This is how you can tell if you don't just like coffee, but love it!
Funny: Young People Don't Have Damn a Clue About Aging!
This hilarious stand-up bit really hits home on the subject of aging, and how young people really don't get it...
Alaska Has Some Sights No Other Place Has...
Alaska is a special kind of place. Here are some hilarious photos that will prove to you - you're in Alaska, buddy! See for yourself.
Hilarious: These Dogs Never Saw it Coming...
When these dogs get pranked, they can't believe it!
Hilarious Signs: This Ice Cream Shop Cracked Me Up!
This collection of 12 hilarious signs will give you a taste of an excellent sense of humor!
These Cat Tweets Will Give You Plenty to Laugh About!
Cats have been providing us with entertainment for as long as we have co-existed, and these cat tweets prove they’re still giving us plenty to laugh about!
These Comic Strips Are So Funny, You'll Ask for More!
Check out these hilarious one-frame funnies by artist Tyson Cole.
Funny Stand Up: Can't Argue With Wife Post Surgery!
Jim Gaffigan in a funny stand up video about arguing with his wife after her brain surgery.
Laughter Guaranteed: 15 Uproarious Classical Art Memes
Who would have thought that classical art pieces can make you cackle with laughter?
These Punny Illustrations Will Give You a Good Chuckle
Enjoy this collection of illustrated puns by artist Teo Zirinis.
Hilarious: We Can All Identify With These Signs!
El Arroyo restaurant is back to make you laugh with its hilarious collection of new funny signs.
Short Senior Jokes that'll Make You Crack Up!
Just because you're getting old, it doesn't mean that you have to stop laughing. Here are 25 short senior jokes that'll really tickle your fancy.
Who Said God Isn't Funny? These Church Signs are Hilarious!
Although churches are houses of worship, that doesn't mean to say that they can't have a sense of humor! These amazing signs are evidence of that.
The Best Husbands Have the Best Sense of Humor!
Married women will be able to related to these. You ask your husband to do one simply thing, and they take it as an excuse to goof off. See 10 hilarious pics.
Enjoy a Hilarious Dose of Animal Pranks!
Enjoy a hilarious compilation of the best animal pranks by Just for Laughs
When Teaching First Aid, Try to Avoid Having Mr. Bean There
A classic Mr. Bean sketch that always makes me laugh, is Mr. Bean's idea of first aid...
These Signboards Have the Worst Spelling Mistakes
These have to be some of the most unfortunate typos ever.
HILARIOUS: 20 Signs That Are Too Funny to Pass By
We could all use a bit of laughter these days, and what’s better than brilliantly funny signs?