"I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," was the reply.
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman said happily.
A little while later she went into McDonald's and asked the counter girl the very same question.
The girl said, "I guess about 29."
The woman replied, "Nope I'm 50."
Now she was feeling really good about herself. She stopped in a drug store on her way down the street. She went up to the counter to get some mints and asked the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responded, "Oh, I'd say 30."
Again she proudly responded, "I am 50, but thank you!"
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asked an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replied, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going...
"Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then, can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."
They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of her.
She finally blurted out, "What the hell! Go ahead."
He slipped both of his hands under her bra and began to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounced and weighed each one of her bosoms. He gently pinched them as well. He pushed her assets together and rubbed them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she said, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"
He completed one last squeeze, removed his hands, and said, "Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman said, "That was incredible! How could you tell??"
"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
Cheeky Joke: The Doctor and the Stutterer
Enjoy this funny joke about a guy who wanted his stutter removed...
Why Has It Gone Hard? (Hilarious Joke)
Two boys are playing by a stream when they see a naked woman. One of the boys quickly runs off.
Hilarious: Can I Have a Penny For Your Thoughts, Lad?
A Scottish lad and lass are sitting on a heathery hillside in the Highlands when they begin to converse...
Joke: To Heaven and Back
A woman suffers a heart attack and ends up in hospital. She has a near-death experience, but awakens. She decides to get some work done...
Hilarious: The Best of Little Johnny Jokes!
I'm always partial to a good Little Johnny joke, but when there's a collection of them in one place, you know there'll be people falling about laughing...
Forget Your Worries and Laugh With Some Hilarious Cartoons
Take a break from the hustle and bustle of your everyday life and enjoy these one-panel comics by artist Dave Coverly.
Hilarious: Are These Weirdest Signs Ever Made?
Enjoy this hilarious compilation of weird signs that will have you in stitches!
HILARIOUS: What Would You Do If You Saw This Happening?
What would you do if you saw a scene like this? It's hilarious to see how the people in this video react to what they see going on in front of them!
Arrest These Designers! 20 Cases of Design Faux Pas
From ashtrays labelled with 'No Smoking' signs to lemons that can supposedly produce orange juice, you've got to see these 20 hilarious design fails!
HILARIOUS: 15 Times People Failed the Only Job They Had
The most hilarious examples of hilarious work fails.
If You Have a Well Aged Sense of Humor, You'll Love This!
We've collected for you a series of the most funny senior cartoon pictures. I'm still laughing at these 'well aged' cartoons!
Hilarious! These Kids REALLY Hate Shopping!
While loads of teenagers and adults simply love to shop till they drop, the same can't really be said for most kids, as these hilarious photos prove!
20 Of The Funniest Spelling Mistakes You've Ever Seen
A compilation of the funniest and weirdest spelling errors and grammar mistakes you will come across.
These Hilarious Pictures Will Have You Laughing Out Loud
These photos will have you laughing out loud.
Hilarious! Here Are 15 Animals Having a Really Bad Day...
Humans aren't the only ones who can have a really bad day every once in a while, and these 15 hilarious photos prove it!
Hilarious: The Funniest Restaurant Names!
These restaurants will grab you attention for all the wrong reasons! We can't stop laughing!
I've Been to the Zoo, But I've Never Seen THIS
I would have given a lot to be at that zoo at that particular time. What a laugh!
HILARIOUS: 15 Dogs that are Having a Really Funny Day
New dog toys are hilariously giving dogs a shiny new smile that will crack you up.
Babbling Babies & Playful Animals = Laughter Unlimited
This hilariously cute video will save your boring day!
Hilarious: How Weirs is the English Language?
English is a really funny language, especially when considering how meanings can be changed when punctuation's omitted. Take a look at these 9 hysterical memes.
The Most Outrageously Hilarious Signs You’ll See
You know what time it is? It’s time for some funny signs!
Hilarious: 19 Times the Universe Decided to Be Ironic...
These photos capture the most brilliant comedic irony caught on camera!
These Are the Most Ridiculous Solutions I Have Ever Seen
How to solve your problems in the worst way...
HILARIOUS: Some People Have Unusual Solutions
Ingenious solutions to ordinary problems that will make you laugh.
Funny: When 8 Priests Come Face-to-Face with Lingerie
This clip from a classic Irish comedy features 8 desperate priests embarrassingly trapped in the lingerie department. This will bring tears to your eyes.
75 Hilarious Family Jokes Perfect For Kids & Adults!
While some of us might enjoy humor that's a little dark or dirty, these children's jokes are perfect for kids and adults alike!
Just for Laughs: Hilarious Coffee Pranks and Gags
Check out this hilarious collection of coffee pranks by “Just for Laughs”.
These Doormats Are Just Hilarious (16 Pics)
Amuse your guests with these ridiculously creative door mats.
These Hilarious Signs Made Me Crack Right Up!
While not all of the 20 signs we’re about to show you intend to be funny, they definitely are!
Do You Remember This Classic Sketch? What a Riot!
Benny Hill goes to the big apple and teaches us a few things about meeting women.
Hilarious Beach Photos That Make You Roar With Laughter!
The photos in this collection prove that one can stumble upon some really funny characters and things on the beach
HILARIOUS - 15 Witty Comics About Everyday Objects
Time for another hilarious collection of single-panel comics.
This Christmas, Spend Some Laughs with Mr. Bean
Enjoy your Christmas with this hilarious Mr. Bean episode.
Even At a Wedding, Sometimes Things Just Go All Wrong!
Hilarious: Anything Can Go Wrong at a Wedding...
Meanwhile in Australia, Some Weird Things are Happening...
Australia is a fascinating and weird place.
Hilarious: 16 Sarcastic Daily Affirmations!
Sometimes, being overly positive doesn’t help. But a little bit of humor does.
These Funny Shop Signs Are Absolutely Outrageous!
These shop signs prove that many shopkeepers still have a healthy sense of humor!
The Most Embarrassing Things to Happen on Camera...
A funny compilation of people who are having their day ruined by unexpected events.
The Funny Side of Having Too Much Technology...
It's crazy to think about how most of us have become attached to our cellphones, but there's a funny side to the whole thing. Take a look at these memes.
I Can't Stop Laughing at These Hilarious Wedding Photos
From cows making babies to groomsmen falling into the ocean, here are some of the most sidesplitting wedding photobombs you'll ever see.
These Dogs Just Don't Understand the Concept of Size!
Maybe a cat took their bed, maybe they just miss being small, but one thing is for sure - these dogs need a bigger bed!
Keep Your Lips and Hugs to Yourself Human! Hilarious
A lot of dog and cat owners love to kiss their pets. But often the pet doesn't understand this strange custom. This hilarious compilation shows their reactions!
Have You Ever Wondered What Animals Look Like Pregnant?
These animals really don't look too pleased with the current state that they're in! Here's what 22 animals look like just before they give birth.
These Signboards Have the Worst Spelling Mistakes
These have to be some of the most unfortunate typos ever.
Hilarious! Mr Bean Wreaks Havoc at the School Open Day
Whether he's in the art gallery, at a calligraphy demonstration, or even in the science lab, nobody is safe when Mr. Bean is around!