"I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," was the reply.
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman said happily.
A little while later she went into McDonald's and asked the counter girl the very same question.
The girl said, "I guess about 29."
The woman replied, "Nope I'm 50."
Now she was feeling really good about herself. She stopped in a drug store on her way down the street. She went up to the counter to get some mints and asked the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responded, "Oh, I'd say 30."
Again she proudly responded, "I am 50, but thank you!"
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asked an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replied, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going...
"Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then, can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."
They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of her.
She finally blurted out, "What the hell! Go ahead."
He slipped both of his hands under her bra and began to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounced and weighed each one of her bosoms. He gently pinched them as well. He pushed her assets together and rubbed them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she said, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"
He completed one last squeeze, removed his hands, and said, "Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman said, "That was incredible! How could you tell??"
"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
Joke: Lights Go Out, Naughty Comes Out...
Four people are in a train compartment together when everything goes dark. An opportunistic poor man decides to capitalize on the opportunity...
Joke: The Resemblance is Uncanny...
When a pastor is mistaken for a country singer while doing his rounds, he's quite taken aback, however he soon gets used to his new-found fame...
Hilarious: The Best of Little Johnny Jokes!
I'm always partial to a good Little Johnny joke, but when there's a collection of them in one place, you know there'll be people falling about laughing...
Hilarious: But Dad, I Have No Idea What to Do With Her
A newlywed couple are about to consummate their marriage as they're expected to, but neither of them have any idea what they're doing...
This Joke Starts With an Elderly Couple At a Travel Agency
Two elderly people are spotted by a travel agent at his agency's window. He promptly invites them in and discusses sending them on a dream vacation...
You've Got to Check Out This Very Funny Animal Compilation
If you love cute animals and are up for a good laugh, then this is the perfect video for you!
Hilarious! These Overly Dramatic Cats Deserve an Oscar...
Which of these hilarious cat expressions made you laugh most?
When a Ridiculous Sign is Put Up, Hilarity Ensues!
There are certain signs that you come across that leave you wondering what was going on in the mind of the person that put it up. Here are 16 hilarious signs.
My All-Time Favorite Broken-English Signs
English may be well-known but it's not always well-written. Here are some hilarious signs
This is What Happens When You Try and Fix it Yourself!
Have you ever tried fixing something yourself and failed miserably? Then you're going to love these photos...
These Are the Funniest Signs I've Seen in a While...
These hilarious signs required some devious minds behind them...
15 Funny Pictures of Pets Engaged in Shenanigans
These hilarious entries from the Comedy Pet Photography Awards will have you rolling in laughter.
Hilarious: If You're Going to Insult, Do It With Style...
you did not want to get on Shakespeare's bad side, for you might get one of these...
These Truths About Marriage are Bound Crack You Up!
These absolute truths about marriage will really crack you up!
Classic Comedy: About the Importance of Stuff
One of the funniest and smartest comedy routines in history!
Hilarious: Mr. Bean and the Eating Competition
Mr. Bean's eating competition against a fellow guest is going swimmingly until he eats a batch of spoiled oysters...
Interior Design Fails: You Won't Believe This!
Some people have to live with really absurd home designs that make no sense. Take a look.
This is One of the Funniest Videos I've Ever Seen! (Cheeky)
This hilarious short video is just laugh out loud funny.
This May Be the Funniest Message I've Ever Heard...
This has to be the funniest hotline message ever recorded.
Hilarious: The Funniest Good Morning Quotes in History
Mornings aren’t for everyone. Here are some funny good morning quotes you will relate to.
Hilarious: These Dogs Never Saw it Coming...
When these dogs get pranked, they can't believe it!
Short Senior Jokes that'll Make You Crack Up!
Just because you're getting old, it doesn't mean that you have to stop laughing. Here are 25 short senior jokes that'll really tickle your fancy.
These Dogs Just Don't Understand the Concept of Size!
Maybe a cat took their bed, maybe they just miss being small, but one thing is for sure - these dogs need a bigger bed!
Parrots Are So Funny: A Hilarious Compilation!
This video compilation is all about funny parrots and how they make you laugh.
HILARIOUS: Some People Have Unusual Solutions
Ingenious solutions to ordinary problems that will make you laugh.
Hilarious: When a Ventriloquist Gets Hypnotized...
Watch this ventriloquist as she does a creative and funny routine I've never seen another ventriloquist do anything like this before!
Want a Laugh? Try These Witty Lines!
The best jokes and phrases are the ones that completely catch us off guard. Here are 14 very witty and unpredictable jokes and phrases.
All the Ladies Will Be Playing This Song Again & Again
This song celebrates the beauty and wisdom of older ladies in a hilarious way!
These Hilarious Kids Were Left Unsupervised...
When toddlers or young children are left on their own, the likelihood is a disaster will ensue. Here are 20 timely reminders why they shouldn't be left alone!
These Funny Restaurant Signs Just Made Me Laugh Out Loud
Enjoy this collection of hilarious restaurant signs.
This Hilarious Video Starts With an Elephant...
This is one of the most clever pranks I've ever seen
Hilarious: This is Why We Love Kids...
There are a number of reasons we love kids! It isn't just because they laugh out loud most of the time or look great in photos - they also make us laugh...
These Hilarious Pictures Will Have You Laughing Out Loud
These photos will have you laughing out loud.
These 24 Funny Wild Animals Know When to Say Cheese!
Wild animals are magnificent, sure. But they are also breathing souls with a real thirst for fun, play and humor. This ace contest celebrates their funny side.
Watch These Funny Animals Get Into Mischief!
Watch this video compilation of animals and pets getting into funny situations.
I Love Reading These Funny Lines!
There's a grain of truth in every joke. And even as we laugh, the humor helps us remember some truths. Of course, sometimes a funny line... is just a funny line!
20 Frighteningly Funny Signs to Watch Out For...
Some signs are so unintentionally funny that you can’t help but laugh out loud. Here’s a look at some of them.
If You Don't Laugh at These, You Are Irony-Deficient...
The Irony Is Strong in These Photos...
You're Busted! Hilarious 'Crime' Gags
This compilation is so funny it should be illegal! ).
Laughter Guaranteed: 15 Uproarious Classical Art Memes
Who would have thought that classical art pieces can make you cackle with laughter?
It's Impossible Not to Laugh At These Funny Signs!
Who doesn't love a funny sign? This collection will leave you grinning from ear to ear.
Hilarious These Silly Signs Made Me Laugh!
19 funny signs that were written on purpose to be hilarious and witty.
Arrest These Designers! 20 Cases of Design Faux Pas
From ashtrays labelled with 'No Smoking' signs to lemons that can supposedly produce orange juice, you've got to see these 20 hilarious design fails!
12 Hilarious Photos of Dogs Letting Cats Boss Them Around
It's just so funny to watch cats and dogs interact with each other, especially when dogs are being bossed around by cats! See for yourself in these hilarious photos
Never Make Fun of an Old Man, Because You Never Know...
This old man teaches young punks what it is to have experience! A great prank.
15 Hilarious Photos Taken a Second Before Disaster
A series of photos happening just before disaster strikes.