|
A couple were golfing one day on a very exclusive golf course, lined with million-dollar houses. On the third tee the husband said "Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball. Don't knock out any windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix!"
The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringed and said "I told you to watch out for the houses! All right, let's go up there, apologise and see how much this is going to cost."
They walked up, knocked on the door and heard a voice say "Come on in." They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer. A man on the couch said "Are you the people that broke my window?"
"Uh, yeah. Sorry about that." the husband replied.
"No, actually I want to thank you. I'm a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You've released me! I'm allowed to grant three wishes, and I'll give you each one wish and keep the last one for myself."
"Wow, great!" the husband said. "I want a million dollars a year
for the rest of my life!"
"No problem. It's the least I could do. And you, what do you want?" the genie said, looking at the wife. "I want a house in every country of the world!" she said.
"Consider it done!" the genie replied.
"And what's your wish genie, now that you're finally free?" asked the husband.
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, I haven't had sex with a woman in a thousand years. My wish is to sleep with your wife."
The husband looked at the wife and said "Well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses honey. I guess I don't care." The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her for two hours. Afterwards, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife, and said "How old is your husband anyway?"
"38." she replied.
"And he still believes in genies?? That's amazing..."
|
Have You Heard This Joke? You'll Have to Speak Louder!
A man has a genie who's hard of hearing. Although he grants wishes, they might not go completely to plan once he does...
Have You Heard This One? The Ex-Wife's Payback
For an ex-wife, wealth is just three wise wishes away..
Great Joke: Three Dinosaurs and Their Three Wishes
This joke begins millions of years ago, as 3 dinosaurs find a magic lamp...
Research Shows: Just 2 Spoons of This to Lose Weight
Cider Apple vinegar is making headlines again following a study that found two tablespoons of it per day may greatly help with weight loss and improving blood sugar. Even more than expensive medications and treatments with many side effects.
Hilarious! These Kids REALLY Hate Shopping!
While loads of teenagers and adults simply love to shop till they drop, the same can't really be said for most kids, as these hilarious photos prove!
20 Absurd Signs That Will Crack You Up!
Expect plenty of giggles, a few very questionable but still fun signs, and an abundance of clean jokes!
7:34
COMEDY CLASSICS: A Side-Splitting Laurel & Hardy Adventure
Enjoy this rip-roaring Laurel and Hardy clip from the 1938 feature-length comedy BLOCK-HEADS.
These Pictures Show Why Construction Isn't For Everyone
Some people simply should not be entrusted with construction or any kind of DIY work. The 15 photos you're about to see will show you exactly why!
18 Funny Cartoons That Nail the Perfect Punchline
Enjoy this hilarious collection of one-panel comics by New Yorker cartoonist Tommy Siegel
12:34
Classic Comedy: Mr. Bean and the Judo Lesson!
Mr. Bean tries his hand at martial arts, with hilarious results.
18 Puns That Prove Laughter is the Best Medicine!
These punny jokes will leave you in stitches!
17 Weird Road Signs That Make Absolutely No Sense
We’ve rounded up 17 of the funniest and most baffling road signs from around the world.
1:40
Hilarious Gag: Girl Teaches Rude Motorist a Lesson!
This little girl has a nasty surprise for this rude motorist in this funny prank.
3:59
Classic Comedy: You Should Always Carry Your Library Card!
A routine teacher-parent meeting starts bad and just gets worse...
These Hilarious Cartoons Get What Living with Dogs is Like!
The way we are with dogs and the way dogs are with us, is something only dog owners really get. If you're a dog owner these comics will make you laugh a lot!
Sit Down, Grab Some Popcorn... and Laugh at These Photos!
Grab some popcorn and prepare to laugh out loud at these hilarious photos.
These Perfectly Timed Wildlife Photos Are Hysterical!
Don't miss out on these hysterical wildlife photos snapped in the perfect situation!
DIY Solutions That’ll Leave You Both Laughing and Nodding
Why overthink it? These lazy ideas just get the job done.
Cats Have An Innate Ability to Be Really Naughty..
If you have a cat, you know that they can be partial to behaving like jerks sometimes. This is especially true in the 19 hilarious photos you're about to see.
HILARIOUS: When Words and Wit Share Space...
19 funny signs that were written on purpose to be hilarious and witty.
These Comics Prove That Humor Can Be Found Anywhere
Jim Shoenbill's witty and often whimsical comics will pack your day with laughter.
19 Photos Proving That Sleeping Pets Is the Funniest Thing
Have you ever caught your pet in an awkward sleeping position? If so, you know these can be really hilarious!
Are These the Funniest Business Signs Ever Made?
These hilarious business signs will definitely tickle your funny bone.
Laugh-Out-Loud Kid Moments Told by Parents
Many parents of young children often find themselves in funny or weird situations thanks to their offspring. Read on to find out these funny perspectives.
One Spelling Mistake Can Make A World of Difference…
Sometimes, a simple spelling mistake can make a seemingly mundane sentence hilarious
FUNNY JOKES: Who Knew Easter Could Be This Hilarious?
These Easter jokes walk the fine line between clever and cringeworthy,
Sketchbook Silliness: Art That Makes You Laugh
These upbeat and silly drawings created by Cedric Hohnstadt will put a smile on your face!
4:27
WATCH: A Young Steve Martin Amuses With His Magic Tricks
Enjoy this memorable clip from the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour.
5:10
The Funny Difference Between Male & Female Brains
If you're a man, or if you're a woman, you will probably find this video compilation utterly hilarious.
15 Hilarious Computer Errors No One Expected
Sometimes, when technology malfunctions, it's too funny not to share it with others
All You Need Today is This Dose of Funny Animal Therapy
Check out this hilarious collection of funny animal photos that will make you chuckle.
6:12
Just for Laughs: “Did I Just Win the Lottery?!”
Enjoy this hilarious prank collection by Just For Laughs Gags.
5:30
What Do Americans Sound Like? A Question with 50 Answers
There isn't one single American accent, but hundreds of them, from the heavy drawl of north Florida to the comical Minnesota accent.
18 Funny Animals That Prove Nature Has a Sense of Humor
These hilarious snapshots are exactly what you need to start your year.
These One-Panel Comics are Devilishly Clever
Enjoy this hilarious collection of single-panel comics by cartoonist Ian Boothby.
3:46
Hilarious stand-up: Teenagers, God’s Payback
A hilarious stand up by comedian veteran Jeff Allen, all about teens and why they are God's revenge.
5:11
This Award-Winning Short Film is Full of Surprises!
A terrific short and a winner of several film festivals, this one has a great idea and executes it with gusto.
Are These the Worst Drivers Ever? These 14 Pics Say Yes
These people should NEVER be behind the wheel!
Funny Perfectly Timed Photos That’ll Mess With Your Mind
These unreal-looking photos were taken at the perfect time and will surely make you look twice.
15 Times Dogs Behaved Exactly Like Cats and it’s Hilarious
Meet the hilariously cute dogs who ended inadvertently behaving like cats…
Some Things You'll Only Ever See in Russia
Russia is the world's largest countries, and it's also one of the world's oddest. Here are 23 funny photos that could have only been taken in Russia.
The Most Honest (and Funniest) Dictionary Ever
If you think dictionaries were dry and pedantic, you'd be right. That is, they were, until these cheeky definitions came along.
To enable your Ad-Free Subscription, please fill the fields below
Your subscription was successful, now you can enjoy an ad-free experience!! Note: To make sure you get no ads, please make sure to log in to your account. If you are logged in already, then refresh the page. The subscription can be cancelled at any time.