It seems that a lot of our old definitions for things are just that: Old. Here are some of the new definitions we loved the most: |
School: An institute where the child goes to play while the parent goes to pay.
Life Insurance: A contract that leaves you poor while you live so you can die rich.
Nurse: A woman that wakes you up in the middle of the night to give you sleeping pills.
Tears: The hydrolic force that women use to defeat men.
Conference: One man's confusion multiplied by the number of people there.
Father: The banker nature gave children.
Politician: Whoever shakes your hand before elections and your wallet after elections.
Doctor: A person who kills your disease with pills and you with bills.
Compromise: The art of dividing the cake in a way that makes everyone believe they got the largest piece.
Mosquito: The only insect that makes you prefer flies.
Etc: The word that makes people think you are smarter than you really are.
Atom Bomb: The invention to end all other inventions.
Yawn: The only time married men are allowed to open their mouth.
Philosopher: A masochistic fool who will be considered a genius once dead.
An adult: A person who has stopped growing from either end and now just grows in the middle.
Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Chicken: The only animal we eat before it's born as well as after it's dead.
Fancy restaurant: The only restaurant that serves you cold soup on purpose.
Puddle: A small body of water that attracts other small bodies wearing dry shoes.
|
Images courtesy of: Arvind Balaraman, imagerymajestic, stockimages, rakratchada torsap, Clare Bloomfield, David Castillo Dominici / freedigitalphotos.net
This Joke Starts With a Retiree Entering a Pharmacy
When an old man walks into a drug store and makes an unusual request, the pharmacist decides to do a little prying...
Joke: How to Get Over the Language Barrier
A furniture salesman heads to Paris on a buying trip. He soon sees a lady that takes his fancy. The only problem is that he doesn't speak French...
Hilarious Improv: Dear Wife, I'm Writing You This Letter...
These two improv performers are only allowed to say one word at a time. Following a suggestion from the audience.
Hilarious Nature: True Facts About Elephants!
Come with us as we explore this huge mammal, make some jokes and meet one of the smartest and most fascinating of all animals, the elephant.
20 Hilarious One-Panel Comics Loaded Witty Humor
Artist Jimmy Craig’s humorous comics deliver the laughs in a single panel.
Just for Laughs: Hilarious Coffee Pranks and Gags
Check out this hilarious collection of coffee pranks by “Just for Laughs”.
Hilarity Ensues When This Ventriloquist Takes the Stage
Watch ventriloquist Jack Williams deliver an incredible audition in America's Got Talent with his puppet!
Hilarious: The 6 Important Lessons of Life!
These life lessons are actually short hilarious jokes!
17 Unexpected Objects With Friendly Faces!
These smiling fungi and friendly dressers are here to lift your spirits!
Sometimes All You Need is One Line to Make You Laugh...
28 hilarious and short jokes! Read them all at once or come back and read one every day, no funny business
Enjoy a Hilarious Dose of Animal Pranks!
Enjoy a hilarious compilation of the best animal pranks by Just for Laughs
To Date this Hilarious Father's Daughter, Here are the Rules
While dads may be glad to see their daughter in love, when it comes to fathers and daughters, there are some hard line rules that NO suitor should cross!
15 Hilarious Photos Taken a Second Before Disaster
A series of photos happening just before disaster strikes.
22 Of the Funniest Language Jokes and Puns
Time for some humor! Enjoy these 22 grammar puns & jokes.
Hilarious: Don't Mess With This Little Girl!
When people passed by, they saw a very strange sight
This 'Man Song' is a Complete Hoot!
Watch the legendary Milton singing 'The Man Song' by Sean Morey in this hilarious video.
Hilarious: We All Have That One Friend Who's Kinda Silly...
In every group of friends, we have this one friend who just keeps messing up. If your group doesn't have one, then it's probably you...
Hilarious: We Can All Identify With These Signs!
El Arroyo restaurant is back to make you laugh with its hilarious collection of new funny signs.
Hilarious: 16 Times People Didn't Pay Attention...
If you ever doubted the fact that knowing English is important, these hilarious mistakes made on public signs will definitely change your mind once and for all!
Hilarious: Mother Versus Father, Who Does it Better?
When it comes to parenting, who does it better, mothers or fathers?
Hilarious! Men Can Handle Anything Impossible!
Hilarious photos illustrating how men are willing to do just about anything!
Hilarious! Meet the World's Strongest Teenage Girl
If you're looking for something to brighten up your day, then this brilliant prank from the Just For Laughs group is just what you need!
Funny Signs Galore - We Can’t Stop Laughing!
It’s the perfect time to lighten the mood with a fresh batch of funnies!
Only Mr. Bean Can Make a Picnic Hilarious
Mr. Bean decides to have a picnic. However, he soon realizes that there are some insects who will do their utmost to prevent him from enjoying himself...
16 Parenthood Comics That’ll Make You Roll In the Aisles
These witty comics show the funny side of having a family and parenting
With These Witty Lines Anyome Can be Star of the Party
some funny sayings with a something for everyone.
Hilarious These Silly Signs Made Me Laugh!
19 funny signs that were written on purpose to be hilarious and witty.
Hilarious! This Is How Old Men Strip a Kitchen
The Swedes are known for some great cooking. But it seems it's not the men who deserve the praise. This is what they really get up to in the kitchen!
We All Make These Mistakes as Parents... Hilarious!
When situations like this happen, we cannot help but giggle. Take a look at these hilarious parenting fails.
Hilarious: The Funniest Good Morning Quotes in History
Mornings aren’t for everyone. Here are some funny good morning quotes you will relate to.
The Funniest Outdoor Signs from This Vet Clinic
The Carroll County Veterinary Clinic grabs people’s attention with its hilarious roadside signs
15 Vintage Photos That Will Make You Laugh
These weird and funny vintage photos don't make any sense!
These Libraries Will Surprise You With Their Creativity
These libraries have spiced things up with creative twists from the funny librarians who run them.
Simon's Cat Requires a Hilarious Visit to the Vet!
This Simon's Cat special is 12-minutes long and in full color! Watch this hilarious episode here.
It's Impossible Not to Laugh At These Funny Signs!
Who doesn't love a funny sign? This collection will leave you grinning from ear to ear.
Classic Comedy: It's Not Easy Being a Conductor!
This hilarious and musical comedy sketch will leave you both delighted and laughing!
So Funny: Have You Ever Seen Christmas Trees Like THESE?
These are the most unusual Xmas trees you have ever seen!
You're Busted! Hilarious 'Crime' Gags
This compilation is so funny it should be illegal! ).
Lost in Translation: 15 Hilarious Language Fails
When translations from foreign languages into English go wrong, apart from being almost incomprehensible, the results are often outrageously hilarious!
Hilarious! 16 Photos of Cops Having a Good Time...
These 16 photos prove that police officers can have a cracking sense of humor!
Mr. Bean Never Expected a Round of Golf Like That...
Mr Bean decides to treat himself to a round of crazy golf. He starts off with a fantastic hole in one, but things start to take a turn for the worse…
Classic Comedy: The Three Santas...
The Three Stooges all dressed up as Santa Claus in Arabia
Hilarious: How to Insult 7 Different Nations!
This kind woman is willing to help her boss with a difficult meeting, but her help isn't all it's cracked up to be...