One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him in the leg with the hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"
"Amen," replied the congregation.
For more funny jokes scroll below.
These Jokes Are So Dumb They'll Make You Laugh!
Some jokes are so dumb that they are actually hilarious and make you laugh out loud. Below is a selection of such jokes!
Joke: Click For Interactive Joke Fun!
Just read the question on each image as the giraffe tells you the first half of the joke, then click and let our hippo friend tell you the punch line!
These Hilarious Grammar Jokes are a Verbal Delight!
Do you enjoy a good pun? Somehow, they become even funnier when they're related to grammar. Here are 17 hilarious grammar jokes for you to enjoy.
Hilarious These Silly Signs Made Me Laugh!
19 funny signs that were written on purpose to be hilarious and witty.
No Object is Safe From These Grumpy Cats!
No object is safe from these cats! In this hilarious video, you'll see cats attacking vacuum attachments, pushing things off tables, and much more!
HILARIOUS - 15 Witty Comics About Everyday Objects
Time for another hilarious collection of single-panel comics.
Comedy Gold: Do Not Mess With Buster Keaton!
Enjoy this rib-tickling sketch by the king of comedy, Buster Keaton.
Parrots Are So Funny: A Hilarious Compilation!
This video compilation is all about funny parrots and how they make you laugh.
Airports Are Full Of Weird and Wonderful Different Sights
Airports are full of weird and wonderful different sights.
Pets That Never Fail to Make Us Laugh & Brighten Our Day
Pets always have a way of making us laugh. Take a look at this hilarious clip that will surely brighten your day.
Classic Comedy: Mr. Bean at the Library.
Another classic scene from the silent comedian who manages to make me laugh more than a dozen talking stand up artists.
These Funny Illustrations Show What Life Is Like With Kids!
Jim Benton is a cartoonist and illustrator who has managed to capture life with young kids perfectly. Take a look at his hilarious drawings.
I've Never Seen Translations Fail This Hard
These hilariously terrible translations will make you laugh your socks off!
The Silliest Construction Mistakes That'll Make You Laugh!
There was very little thought process behind these mistakes...
20 Of The Funniest Spelling Mistakes You've Ever Seen
A compilation of the funniest and weirdest spelling errors and grammar mistakes you will come across.
Hilarious: Then DIY Goes Ridiculously Wrong...
The world is full of wonderful workmanship, but you won't see any of that here. This is a collection of the very worst of man's DIY, construction efforts!
Eek! Remember When Chaplin Got Trapped in the Lion's Cage?
This classic scene has me rolling around the floor every time...
We All Make These Mistakes as Parents... Hilarious!
When situations like this happen, we cannot help but giggle. Take a look at these hilarious parenting fails.
Classic Comedy: What if Mr. Bean Was a Pianist?
A classic comedy sketch by Rowan Atkinson (AKA Mr. Bean) from 1979
The Funny Realities of New Year's Resolutions
New Year’s Resolutions can be fun or annoying depending on the way you look at them. These funny comic strips take a dig at the tradition.
All the Ladies Will Be Playing This Song Again & Again
This song celebrates the beauty and wisdom of older ladies in a hilarious way!
These Libraries Will Surprise You With Their Creativity
These libraries have spiced things up with creative twists from the funny librarians who run them.
Hilarious: These Dogs Never Saw it Coming...
When these dogs get pranked, they can't believe it!
You Won't Believe What This Little Old Lady Gets Up To...
This hilarious prank involves a sweet old lady pretending to deal drugs in large quantities in a public park...
HILARIOUS: These Warning Signs are NOT Doing Their Job...
These warning signs are not doing their job well, are they?
These Guys Have Some WEIRD Choices in Christmas Sweaters!
Some people just have bizarre tastes when it comes to Christmas sweaters.
How Did This Japanese Woman Teach Her Dog to Whisper?
You've probably heard dogs howl, bark, and growl, but have you ever seen a dog do this?
Hilarious: These Hilarious Repairs Will Really Crack You Up!
Here are 14 hilarious repair fails that are bound to give you a good laugh!
Whoever Created These Funny Signs Deserves a Pay Raise!
These hilarious business signs will definitely tickle your funny bone.
These House Design Decisions Are Criminally Bad!
It’s hard to believe these weird houses actually exist!
HILARIOUS: Some People Have Unusual Solutions
Ingenious solutions to ordinary problems that will make you laugh.
Mark Twain Had a Lot to Say About Almost Everything
Mark Twain is one of the most famous writers in American history. He was known for his dark wit and humor, and his quotes still inspire people today.
Who Said God Isn't Funny? These Church Signs are Hilarious!
Although churches are houses of worship, that doesn't mean to say that they can't have a sense of humor! These amazing signs are evidence of that.
20 Frighteningly Funny Signs to Watch Out For...
Some signs are so unintentionally funny that you can’t help but laugh out loud. Here’s a look at some of them.
The Wordplay in This Classic Comedy Sketch is Hilarious!
Nothing tickles me so much as wordplay. And this is my absolute favorite comedy classic sketch. See what happens when a customer asks for 'four candles.'
Hilarious: 22 Witty and Clever Cartoons!
22 of the funniest New Yorker cartoons that are just clever enough to be funny but not mysteriously so.
These Cartoons Prove That with Great Age Comes Great Humor
Laughter is the best way to deal with all the negatives that comes with old age. Therefore, we have compiled 11 funny senior cartoons for your amusement.
Classic Comedy: How NOT to Pick Up Women
This Carol Burnett classic comedy sketch is all about picking up women, but this guy doesn't have a clue.
These Wine Jokes Are All in Good Taste...
I never knew there were so many funny things to say about wine...
Some People REALLY Don’t Care About Safety - 15 Funny Pics!
Some of these bizarre work safety fails will give you anxiety!
17 Witty and Funny One-Panel Comics!
Enjoy this hilarious collection of one-frame comics by New Yorker Magazine cartoonist Harry Bliss.
Lost In Translation: 17 Hilariously WEIRD Signs
It’s time for another hilarious collection of translation fails!