A man wakes up in a hospital, bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the motorway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and the paramedics couldn't find it.”
The man groans, but the doctor goes on… "You do have $19,000 in insurance compensation coming though, and we now have the technology to build a new penis.
They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $2,000 an inch. The man perks up. So, the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now, she might be a bit uncomfortable. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed." He said with a smile.
The doctor comes back the next day and saw the man standing a little crestfallen.
"So, have you spoken with your wife?” He asked him.
"Yes I have," said the man.
"And has she helped you make a decision?”
"Yes," said the man. "We're getting a new kitchen.''
How Robots Are Revolutionizing COVID-19 Care
One of the ways medicine may soon become even more tech-savvy is through the introduction of humanoid robots, and it's already starting to happen
Reduce Your Drug Prices By Following These Effective Tips
Cutting back on pharmaceutical costs can appear to be a real challenge at times. These few simple tips can really help you in that regard.
These Guys Would Win All the Prizes For Bad Decision
These 20 photographs perfectly encapsulate what both stupidity and luck look like as people find themselves in dangerously dumb predicaments
Joke: Two Roofers in a Fix
Two roofers are working on the roof of a barn when a slight mishap means that they knock the ladder over. Fortunately, there's another way down...
Mother Cries As Son Stands Up For the 1st Time in 28 Years
Li Hua had a disease that left his body folded. After many years, this incredible team of doctors have given him a second chance at life
Hilarious: This Vet Clinic Has Painfully Funny Signs!
Enjoy 21 hilarious signs brought to you by the most unexpected source - a vet clinic.
The Most Hilarious Photos from the Animal Kingdom!
Take a look at this hilarious collection of animal-failures.
HILARIOUS - 15 Witty Comics About Everyday Objects
Time for another hilarious collection of single-panel comics.
14 Hilarious Christmas Baby Photo Shoot Fails
While many of us think that it would be a great idea to have a photoshoot with our young children, unfortunately they never seem to go as planned...
Hilarious! Mr. Bean Didn't Expect This at Art Class!
Mr. Bean takes an art class but never did he expect that he'd have to be drawing a naked woman...
The Wit of Mark Twain: Quotes that are Amusing and True
One of the most famous American writers, Twain was known for his wit and darker humor. To this day, his quotes are an inspiration.
Laugh Out Loud with Rob Spence's Crazy Balloon Act
Watch in awe as Rob Spence's balloon mime act takes center stage, bringing non-stop laughter.
You Wouldn't Believe These Things Happen at Hotels
These hotel fails are the funniest things you will see all day.
Do You Have the Same Problems With YOUR Kids?
Almost as soon as they learn how to speak, your kids learn to speak back. First it's "no", then it's "I don't wanna" and soon enough they're closing the door to their room and listening to their terrible music. Well, at least you can take comfort in
Over 100 Dad Jokes to Make You the Corniest!
Over 100 cringy dad jokes in several categories, including cheesy dad jokes, corny dad jokes, dumb dad jokes, dad jokes for adults, dirty dad jokes and more.
HILARIOUS: 14 Silly Signs That'll Make Your Day
Need a laugh? Check out these hilariously weird signs that make no sense.
WATCH: This Rude Act Shows the French Will Cook Anything
The last thing you’d expect from a Burlesque act is two French men and a set of frying pans. This video is too hilarious not to watch.
Who Knew Church Signs could be This Funny?
Churches seem to have found that addressing dwindling congregations can be achieved with a great sense of humor. Here are 14 hysterically funny US church signs.
Hilarious: 15 Witty Bar and Restaurant Signs
These bars and restaurants deserve a visit just for their funny signs.
Couples Will Totally Relate to These Funny Cartoons!
Being coupled up can be a wonderful thing, but there's no denying that relationships have their ups and downs. Here are 12 funny cartoons about couples.
These Photos Will Leave You Doing a Double-Take!
There are some photos that will just leave you doing a double-take thanks to their perfect timing and odd composition. Take a look at these 18 surreal photos.
When This Young Comedian Steps on Stage, No One is Safe!
Ned Woodman, a 9-year-old comedian, may look cute, but when he steps on to the stage, all this changes. Check him out here!
Hilarious! Meet the World's Strongest Teenage Girl
If you're looking for something to brighten up your day, then this brilliant prank from the Just For Laughs group is just what you need!
These Hotel Goofs Will Make You Laugh Out Loud
Hotels are usually pretty nice, but as you're about to see, you will sometimes come across some hilarious bloopers.
When Funny Signs Meet Epic Fails, Hilarity Ensues...
These funny signs, tags, and maps show just how much the people responsible for creating them had failed, and it's absolutely hilarious!
Here Are 14 of the World's Funniest Bumper Stickers
14 funny and clever bumper stickers that will brighten up your day.
Cats Vs Dogs: Who's in Charge? Adorable and Hilarious!
When it comes to cats vs dogs, who's the boss? Hilarious!
Hilarious! Quick, Your Majesty, Avoid Mr. Bean!
It's hard to imagine why the Queen would ever want to meet Mr. Bean. I mean, I know he's funny, but...she's the Queen! This will not end well!
These Hilarious Grammar Jokes are a Verbal Delight!
Do you enjoy a good pun? Somehow, they become even funnier when they're related to grammar. Here are 17 hilarious grammar jokes for you to enjoy.
Funny Photos: You Had One Job!
These ridiculously funny work fail pictures will have you laughing all day.
This Prank is Something Quite Magical!
A levitating woman is rudely interrupted by a kid... hilarious!
Some People REALLY Don’t Care About Safety - 15 Funny Pics!
Some of these bizarre work safety fails will give you anxiety!
I Swear Officer, I Was Framed!
These people thought they were helping film a prank, but they didn't realize what will happen next...
This Simon's Cat Collection is All You Need for Smile Today!
Created by Simon Tofield in 2008, Simon's Cat is on a constant mission to get fed. Enjoy this hilarious collection of 16 of his most famous escapades.
Funny Stand Up: Can't Argue With Wife Post Surgery!
Jim Gaffigan in a funny stand up video about arguing with his wife after her brain surgery.
Funny Today: Caught in the Hood!
This cop pulls people over and asks them to lift their hood. When he slams it shut, he screams because little Johnson got caught under the hood and is stuck!
Have You Ever Read a Sign Or Notice and Thought... WHAT!?
Sometimes you see a sign or notice and you just have to do a double take. These 18 utterly hilarious spelling fails will have you laughing all day long!
Hilarious! This Is How Old Men Strip a Kitchen
The Swedes are known for some great cooking. But it seems it's not the men who deserve the praise. This is what they really get up to in the kitchen!
Classic Comedy: Mr. Bean At the Restaurant
Watch and see what happens as Mr. Bean gets a taste of a raw Steak Tartare, and decides he doesn’t really like it…
Eek! Remember When Chaplin Got Trapped in the Lion's Cage?
This classic scene has me rolling around the floor every time...
This is a Song All Mothers Should Hear. Hilarious!
This beautiful and hilarious song should be sung by all mothers everywhere.
17 Humorous Vintage Photos That Will Make You Laugh
Enjoy this collection of vintage street photos of France during the 1950s by René Maltête.
When Parking Signs Get a Sense of Humor! (15 Pics)
Who knew no parking signs could make us laugh too?