The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, "If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey?"
"No, I stopped drinking years ago," the bum said.
"Will you use it to gamble?"
"I don't gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive."
"Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?"
"Are you NUTS!? I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
The man said, "Well, I'm not going to give you two dollars. Instead, I'm going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The bum was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad."
The man replied: "That's OK. I just want her to see what a man who's given up drinking, gambling and golf looks like."
For more funny jokes scroll below!
This Joke Starts With a Man Working Late
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Joke: Putting Your Private Part Right Is Gonna Cost
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Joke: This Man Really Needed to Confess Something...
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Joke: The Old Golf Partner
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Funny: It's Not My Fault That You Didn't Use Them, Pal
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Here's Proof That Wrong Spacing Can Ruin Any Sign...
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Why Men Should NOT Be Allowed in the Kitchen!
A perfect example of why some men are useless in the kitchen
13 Hilarious Protest Signs That'll Make You Laugh!
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These Are the Most Ridiculous Solutions I Have Ever Seen
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Hilarious: What Is the TRUE Meaning of Marriage?
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Hilarious: 16 of the FUNNIEST DIY Repair Jobs!
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I Can't Stop Laughing at These Hilarious Wedding Photos
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16 Intensely Funny Signs Spotted In the Wild
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You'd Think These Hilarious Signs Wouldn't Be Needed!
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Vandalism Is Not Okay. Unless It Makes You Laugh Out Loud
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This Stand-Up Routine is as Funny as They Come!
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The Senior Alphabet is Absolutely Hilarious!
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