I'm a huge fan of Bill Cosby's old show: "Kids say the darndest things". Because nothing can beat the innocence and inexperience of a child when it comes to funny lines. They sometimes say things that adult comedians would just never think of saying, and it's all the more hilarious for it!
"Close the curtains," requested our 2 year old granddaughter, sitting in a pool of bright light. "The sun's looking at me too hard."
My friend asked our grandson when he would turn 6. He refreplied, "When I'm tired of being 5."
Seeing her first hailstorm, Mary Sue, age 3, exclaimed, "Mommy, it's raining dumplings!"
As I frantically waved away a pesky fly with a white dishtowel, my granddaughter observed, "Maybe he thinks you're surrendering."
A friend's grandson, 4, was reading with his granddad about Adam and Eve. He asked, "Is this where God took out the man's brain and made a woman?"
Announcing to daughter Lori that her aunt just had a baby and it looked like her uncle, she said, "You mean he has a mustache?"
When I asked our grandson if he could name the capital of Florida, he fired right back, "Capital F!"
While shampooing our son, 4, I noted his hair was growing so fast he'd soon need it cut. He replied, "Maybe we shouldn't water it so much."
My daughter told her 5-year-old that their van was going to be fixed. Instantly, the small fry assumed, "Oh, it's going to the tire-o-practor?"
Impressed by her 5-year-old's vocabulary, my friend complimented the young scholar, who nonchalantly responded, " I have words in my head I haven't even used yet."
His Mom informed her son, Brian, that she was going outside to get a little sun. "But Mommy, he gulped, "You already have a son. Me!"
When our son asked about two look-alike classmates at school, we told him they were probably twins. The next day, he came home from school all bubbly and said, "Guess what! They are not only twins....they're brothers!!"