Ready to laugh? Enjoy this witty and funny collection of short jokes and one liners that'll sure to make your day much funnier and MUCH better - because a day with a laugh is a day not wasted!
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. Love thy neighbor all through the day... but first make sure her husband's away!
An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist. 'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
'How long has what been going on?' said the man.
Innkeeper: "The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed."
Guest: "I'll make my own bed."
Innkeeper: "Great. I'll get you some nails and wood."
While I was working as an assistant in a large corporation, my boss used to take half of the job applicants CVs and throw them in the garbage. When I asked him why he just said: "I don't want to work with unlucky people."
Customer: "Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup." Waiter: "Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers."
It is well known... Man stands up to get knocked down, woman lays down to get knocked up.
What four animals does a woman like to have in her house? A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all. A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken. The waiter says that there's nothin' special... we just flat out tell' em they're gonna die...
HUSBAND: "Shall we try a different position tonight?"
WIFE: "That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."
A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" She replied, "No peer pressure."
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
"I'll miss you."
A waiter walks up to a table of old ladies eating their lunch and asks, "Is ANYTHING ok?" Husband: "There's something preying on my mind." Wife: "Don't worry, it'll soon die of starvation."
|
Scroll below for more funny jokes!
Lost in Translation: Laugh-Out-Loud Fails
These translation fails from different languages will have you rolling on the floor with laughter.
Dad Jokes: A Hilarious Collection of Terrible Crack-Ups
These terrible dad jokes are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone.
Funny: The Heart & the Brain Can NEVER Be On the Same Page
These comics, by artist Nick Seluk, also known as The Awkward Yeti, show the eternal struggle between the heart and the brain.
These Weird Road Signs Will Make You Laugh!
These outrageously funny street signs are certainly worth slowing down for!
Funny History: 101 Historical Puns!
If you love history and humor, this punny list of 101 history puns is really gonna make your day!
These FUNNY Spring Jokes Will Blossom Your Mood!
Enjoy this hilarious collection of spring jokes and puns.
You Must See These Hilarious Airport Pick-Up Signs
Some people go a little overboard with their airport greetings.
These Silly Photos Remind Us of the Funny Side of Christmas!
Christmas is always full of good cheer, but it can also be downright hilarious as well. Here are 20 memes to remind you how hilarious Christmas Can Be.
Hilarious Stand Up: Why Teens Are God's Revenge
A hilarious stand up by comedian veteran Jeff Allen, all about teens and why they are God's revenge.
15 Hilarious Photobombing Moments That Will Make You Laugh
Sometimes, a photobomb can result in some incredibly hilarious moments.
Hilarious: 15 Signs You Love Coffee Just a Bit Too Much
This is how you can tell if you don't just like coffee, but love it!
Hilarious: How Weirs is the English Language?
English is a really funny language, especially when considering how meanings can be changed when punctuation's omitted. Take a look at these 9 hysterical memes.
18 Funny Animal Pics That'll Give You Some Cheer!
Here is a collection of some adorably funny animals being silly and cute at the same time.
18 Advertising Fails That Are Too Funny To Ignore!
These hilariously bad ads may not convince you to buy the product, but they will surely succeed at cracking you up!
These Funny Photos Show People's Relationship With Food!
There's no doubting that everyone's relationship with food is different, and this leads to people creating hilarious memes related to it! Take a look.
20 Funny Quotes for All the Introverts Out There
Do you identify yourself as an introvert? Then you will relate to these hilarious quotes.
14 Cat Fails That Definitely Won't Fail to Make You Laugh
If you're searching for pictures of cats who have immediately regretted their poor choices, you need look no further. Check out these hilarious cat fails.
21 Single-Panel Comics That Deliver the Laughs
Enjoy this hilarious collection of single-frame comics by Doug Hill.
It’s Hard to Believe These Hilarious US Laws Still Exist!
Did you know California prohibits riding bikes in swimming pools? Discover more such bizarre US laws in this article.
Eek! Remember When Chaplin Got Trapped in the Lion's Cage?
This classic scene has me rolling around the floor every time...
Laugh Out Loud with Rob Spence's Crazy Balloon Act
Watch in awe as Rob Spence's balloon mime act takes center stage, bringing non-stop laughter.
Hilarious: Come On Ladies, Let's Poke Some Fun!
What is it with men? They seem to be from another planet sometimes. Well, instead of bemoaning our luck we can at least enjoy a good laugh at their expense!
Sweet Irony: Hilarious Photos of Ironic Situations!
Sometimes, the world just gives us some hilarious moments of perfect irony!
These Cat Tweets Will Give You Plenty to Laugh About!
Cats have been providing us with entertainment for as long as we have co-existed, and these cat tweets prove they’re still giving us plenty to laugh about!
These One Liners Will Put a Smile on Your Face, Guaranteed!
A collection of crazy and unexpectedly hilarious jokes.
If You Have a Well Aged Sense of Humor, You'll Love This!
We've collected for you a series of the most funny senior cartoon pictures. I'm still laughing at these 'well aged' cartoons!
You Put My Food on a WHAT?! Pretentious Food Servings
Some chefs have gotten a bit too creative with their ideas for food presentation. These are some of the worst offenders.
Hilarious: Mother Versus Father, Who Does it Better?
When it comes to parenting, who does it better, mothers or fathers?
Hilarious: Why You DON'T Send a Man to the Grocery Store
Sending a man grocery shopping - what could possibly go wrong?
Hilarious: When Timing and Comedy Team Up!
Comedy is all about timing and these photos are the perfect example for it!
Classic Comedy: How to Keep a Man Focused!
A hilarious skit showing the fastest way to re-capture a man's wandering attention...
These Funny Restaurant Signs Just Made Me Laugh Out Loud
Enjoy this collection of hilarious restaurant signs.
Spooktacular Halloween Pranks That'll Have You Howling
It's Halloween time, so sit back and enjoy these spookily funny pranks.
Hilarious: Are These Weirdest Signs Ever Made?
Enjoy this hilarious compilation of weird signs that will have you in stitches!
Excuse Me, Interior Designers? May I Ask... WHY?!?
These terrible interior design mistakes are so bad they're actually hilarious.
Comedy Classics: Christmas Shopping With Mr. Bean
This Christmas, let’s go shopping with Mr. Bean.
15 Witty and Funny Marathon Signs That Made Us Chuckle
These absolutely wacky, witty, and hilarious signs were spotted at the NYC Marathon.
Hilarious: These Hilarious Repairs Will Really Crack You Up!
Here are 14 hilarious repair fails that are bound to give you a good laugh!
When Kid Photos Don't Come Out the Way You Hoped...
Click to see the outcome of kids who did not want to have their photos taken.
These Geriatric Cartoons Will Make You Laugh Out Loud
These just made me laugh myself silly, but I must admit, they're quite true!
These Truly Outrageous Sights Can Only be Found in Russia!
If you're a huge fan of all things weird and wonderful, then there's no better place for you to visit than Russia. Here's why...
These Animal Pick Up Lines Are a Hoot!
When it comes to pick up lines, the animal world provides some of the funniest! This collection of 70 animal pick up lines is gonna make you roar with laughter.
These Guys Have Some WEIRD Choices in Christmas Sweaters!
Some people just have bizarre tastes when it comes to Christmas sweaters.
Hilarious: The Gunslinger and the Evil Voice! (Rude Humor)
This western is so funny and breaks all conventions. Only watch if you don't mind foul language!
Caution! These Ridiculous Signs Will Make You Laugh!
Many caution signs can be redundant or plain weird. Here are 25 such caution signs that will have you either laughing or scratching you head