A big football fan goes to the Super Bowl. His seat is in the nosebleed section, but at least he's at the Super Bowl.
He starts looking around the stadium with his binoculars and sees a guy about 5 rows off the field on the 50 yard line with an empty seat beside him. This is driving him nuts, so at half time, he goes down and asks the guy why he has a vacant seat in such a choice location.
The guy says, "My wife and I bought these seats a long time ago, but unfortunately, she passed away."
"Oh, I'm really sorry to hear that", says the fan, "But why didn't you just take a relative or a friend?"
"Na," the man shakes his head, "They're all at the funeral."
A woman goes to the doctor for a general examination.
After they have a chat, he performs his examination. He suddenly stops. Asks her to wait, and goes outside to her waiting husband for a private chat.
"Sir, I don't like what I see," Begins the doctor.
"Well that's a bit rude," replies the husband, "I'll have you know she's a wonderful cook and great with the kids."
A man goes to his priest and asks him: "Father, do you think its fair for one man to profit from another man's trouble?"
"Of course not!" Replied the priest. "Even the bible says it is wrong!"
"You're sure?" asks the man.
"Completely!" Answers the priest.
"So..." says the man, "how about giving back the money you took to marry me and my wife?"
A young man asks his father, married many years, the secret to his marriage's success.
His father had this to say: "Well, we sleep in separate beds, drive in separate cars, eat separately, take vacations separately...
In short, we do everything to stay together..."
|
Scroll below for more funny jokes!
Joke: Making This Call About a Wedding is a Tough Decision
A bride and a groom are with a pastor finalizing details for their wedding day. The pastor asks them whether they want a traditional or contemporary wedding...
This Joke Starts With Two Elderly People In a Trailer Park
Two elderly people sharing a trailer home decide that it's time to get married...
Have You Heard This Joke? A Man of Small Diseases (Rude)
This joke begins with a one-night stand...
Oops! She Didn't Really Think That Through (Rude)
This marital joke will make you really laugh!
This Joke Begins With a Divorce Judge Having a Bad Day
This joke is about a divorce judge who interviews a bizarre woman.
These Guys Have Some WEIRD Choices in Christmas Sweaters!
Some people just have bizarre tastes when it comes to Christmas sweaters.
COMEDY COLLECTION: Giggle at Mr. Bean's Funniest Antics
Mr. bean (Sir Rowan Atkinson) is one of comedy’s most memorable characters. Get your funny bone ready for some serious tickling, as we show you 18 of Mr. Bean's funniest skits ever.
14 One Liners That You Can Use to Amuse!
14 one liners that will make any party a lot of fun and get everyone laughing.
20 Ho, Ho, Hilarious Christmas Quotes to Make You Chuckle
Get ready to welcome the holidays with these hilarious Christmas quotes.
20 One-Frame Funnies That Will Make You Laugh
This New Yorker cartoonist's works are full of wit and humor.
These Inventors Thought Outside the Box! Hilarious
These creators came up with some pretty hilarious inventions.
Try to Wrap Your Head Around These 17 Optical Illusions
Don’t trust your eyes! These mind-bending photos aren’t as bizarre as they seem at first, but they will try to mislead you...
Just for Laughs: Hilarious Coffee Pranks and Gags
Check out this hilarious collection of coffee pranks by “Just for Laughs”.
Short Senior Jokes that'll Make You Crack Up!
Just because you're getting old, it doesn't mean that you have to stop laughing. Here are 25 short senior jokes that'll really tickle your fancy.
All the Ladies Will Be Playing This Song Again & Again
This song celebrates the beauty and wisdom of older ladies in a hilarious way!
Hilarious! What It Truly Means to Be a Grandparent
These Hilarious quotes by Gene Perret perfectly sum up life as a grandparent.
Indecent Behavior: That's Not the Way to Conduct Yourself!
Waitresses see some shocking behavior from courting couples, but tonight's spectacle was extraordinarily indecent...
These Hilarious Kids Were Left Unsupervised...
When toddlers or young children are left on their own, the likelihood is a disaster will ensue. Here are 20 timely reminders why they shouldn't be left alone!
Hilarious: This Just May Be Why Building Codes Exist...
20 examples of the worst construction flaws, that will hopefully remind you to hire a professional next time.
Hilarious: How Cold IS IT?
Don’t like the chilly weather? Then you will relate to these hilarious winter memes.
Classic Comedy: Sure, I Can Play the Concerto!
In this classic skit, world famous conductor Andre Previn attempts to get Eric Morecambe to play Grieg's Piano Concerto. How will they get on?
Classic Comedy: How NOT to Pick Up Women
This Carol Burnett classic comedy sketch is all about picking up women, but this guy doesn't have a clue.
Watch Out! Cats Have Taken Over Supermarkets Everywhere!
These sweet and funny pictures of cats in supermarkets will warm your heart.
These Photos Are so Ironic You'll Howl with Laughter!
The pictures you're about to see are so permeated with irony that they are scarcely believable. Here are 29 of the most ironic pictures you'll ever see.
Whoever Created These Funny Signs Deserves a Pay Raise!
These hilarious business signs will definitely tickle your funny bone.
When Two Old Ladies Sit Down and Make Us Laugh!
Hilarious and classic sketch from the Mrs. Brown classic show.
Hilarious: These Dogs Never Saw it Coming...
When these dogs get pranked, they can't believe it!
Not the Greatest Boy Scout - Hilarious!
A silly but hilarious prank the whole family will enjoy.
WATCH: Man Ditches "Pregnant" Wife In Hilarious Prank
A man pretends to ditch his "pregnant" wife for another woman in this hilarious prank. Watch the video to see the hilarious expressions on bystanders' faces.
Hilarious: Then DIY Goes Ridiculously Wrong...
The world is full of wonderful workmanship, but you won't see any of that here. This is a collection of the very worst of man's DIY, construction efforts!
These Pics Were Taken Just One Second Before "Disaster"
These hilarious photos were taken a split second before “disaster” struck.
Only Senior Citizens Can Relate to This Hilarious Advice
If you're over the age of 60, you'll definitely be able to relate to these light-hearted statements.
Stand-up Comedy: What Men Really Think of Their Marriage
Marriage is certainly a blessing we all appreciate. But that doesn't mean we can't have a good laugh about it! This portrayal is cynical, but deadly funny!
These 14 Hilarious Vet Signs Are Gonna Crack You Up!
From unapologetic puns about neutering pets to side-splitting two-liners about the differences between cats and dogs, get ready to laugh your head off!
Hilarious: 19 Times the Universe Decided to Be Ironic...
These photos capture the most brilliant comedic irony caught on camera!
Funnies: The Differences Between Men and Women
These images will show you clearly why they say that women are from Venus and men are from Mars. Take a look at these amusing images for a good laugh.
Hilarious: Old Ladies Know How to Ask the Best Questions...
Old ladies have some of the most poignant and relevant questions to ask of any of us. Here are a few of them!
When a Ridiculous Sign is Put Up, Hilarity Ensues!
There are certain signs that you come across that leave you wondering what was going on in the mind of the person that put it up. Here are 16 hilarious signs.
HILARIOUS: 14 Cat Comics That'll Make You Laugh Out Loud!
This hilarious cat comics, drawn by Scott Metzger, perfectly capture the nature of cats.
Who Knew These Famous Figures Were so Cheeky and Funny?
The wittiest, most devastating responses in history. Warning! These are guaranteed to make you laugh!
The Silliest Construction Mistakes That'll Make You Laugh!
There was very little thought process behind these mistakes...
Caution! These Ridiculous Signs Will Make You Laugh!
Many caution signs can be redundant or plain weird. Here are 25 such caution signs that will have you either laughing or scratching you head
Hilarious: Mr. Bean is Looking for Something...
Leave it to Mr. Bean to make it a hilarious search!
Want a Laugh? Try These Witty Lines!
The best jokes and phrases are the ones that completely catch us off guard. Here are 14 very witty and unpredictable jokes and phrases.
Hilarious Birthday Bloopers Make the Best Belly Laughs
These hilarious birthday bloopers will have you laughing all day!