A big football fan goes to the Super Bowl. His seat is in the nosebleed section, but at least he's at the Super Bowl.
He starts looking around the stadium with his binoculars and sees a guy about 5 rows off the field on the 50 yard line with an empty seat beside him. This is driving him nuts, so at half time, he goes down and asks the guy why he has a vacant seat in such a choice location.
The guy says, "My wife and I bought these seats a long time ago, but unfortunately, she passed away."
"Oh, I'm really sorry to hear that", says the fan, "But why didn't you just take a relative or a friend?"
"Na," the man shakes his head, "They're all at the funeral."
A woman goes to the doctor for a general examination.
After they have a chat, he performs his examination. He suddenly stops. Asks her to wait, and goes outside to her waiting husband for a private chat.
"Sir, I don't like what I see," Begins the doctor.
"Well that's a bit rude," replies the husband, "I'll have you know she's a wonderful cook and great with the kids."
A man goes to his priest and asks him: "Father, do you think its fair for one man to profit from another man's trouble?"
"Of course not!" Replied the priest. "Even the bible says it is wrong!"
"You're sure?" asks the man.
"Completely!" Answers the priest.
"So..." says the man, "how about giving back the money you took to marry me and my wife?"
A young man asks his father, married many years, the secret to his marriage's success.
His father had this to say: "Well, we sleep in separate beds, drive in separate cars, eat separately, take vacations separately...
In short, we do everything to stay together..."
|
Scroll below for more funny jokes!
Joke: Making This Call About a Wedding is a Tough Decision
A bride and a groom are with a pastor finalizing details for their wedding day. The pastor asks them whether they want a traditional or contemporary wedding...
The Problem of Using Logic in a Relationship
This video discusses the idea of using logic in love and relationships.
This Joke Begins With a Couple Going to a Strip Club
This joke involves a wife who takes her husband to a strip club for what she thinks is the first time...
Joke: What a Weird Cuckoo Clock...
The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight...
This Joke Begins With a Divorce Judge Having a Bad Day
This joke is about a divorce judge who interviews a bizarre woman.
Hilarious: This Week's Funniest Cartoons!
Our selection for this week's hilarious comics, there's a lot to smile and giggle about on this page. So if you need a moment to smile, or indeed some solid minutes - we've got you covered.
What the Heck Was Going On in These 25 Photographs!
Sometimes you just have to throw you hands up and ask: 'what the hell are all these people in the photos were thinking?'
These Doormats Are Just Hilarious (16 Pics)
Amuse your guests with these ridiculously creative door mats.
The Most Outrageously Hilarious Signs You’ll See
You know what time it is? It’s time for some funny signs!
Hilarious! Some Animals Cannot Pose Well in Photos
Here are some majestic and graceful animals, captured in less than fluttering moments.
Hilarious: 15 Witty Bar and Restaurant Signs
These bars and restaurants deserve a visit just for their funny signs.
These Veterinarian Signs Made Me Laugh Out Loud!
Veterinarians have the most hilarious ways of looking at the crazy moments in your pets life and these signs are proof of that!
Hilarious: When a Ventriloquist Gets Hypnotized...
Watch this ventriloquist as she does a creative and funny routine I've never seen another ventriloquist do anything like this before!
Hilarious: This is Why They Call Them "The Golden Years"!
Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional. Here are 37 funny pictures of seniors who decided to enjoy life to the fullest and not let concepts like “polite” and “decent” stop them!
These Witty Responses to Public Notices are Hilarious
Check out this collection of 15 petty notices along with their extremely hilarious responses!
Hilarious: 15 Who Parked Terribly and Found Karma
Some people just don't know how to park a care, and some are just incredibly selfish. Here are the worst offenders.
These Dumb Actions By People Will Leave You Aghast
Some people do things that simply leave you scratching your head - and make you laugh. Take a look at 22 pictures of the dumbest actions you'll ever see.
These Geriatric Cartoons Will Make You Laugh Out Loud
These just made me laugh myself silly, but I must admit, they're quite true!
The Art of Comedy: A Hilarious Abbott & Costello Routine
Enjoy this rare vintage skit of the masters of comedy, Abbott & Costello.
These Hotel Goofs Will Make You Laugh Out Loud
Hotels are usually pretty nice, but as you're about to see, you will sometimes come across some hilarious bloopers.
These FUNNY Spring Jokes Will Blossom Your Mood!
Enjoy this hilarious collection of spring jokes and puns.
This Man Pushed a Button. He Had No Idea What It Will Do...
This man saw a button at the town square, he didn't realize what would happen when he pushed it.
These Funny Restaurant Signs Just Made Me Laugh Out Loud
Enjoy this collection of hilarious restaurant signs.
HILARIOUS: 20 Signs That Are Too Funny to Pass By
We could all use a bit of laughter these days, and what’s better than brilliantly funny signs?
Hilarious! Quick, Your Majesty, Avoid Mr. Bean!
It's hard to imagine why the Queen would ever want to meet Mr. Bean. I mean, I know he's funny, but...she's the Queen! This will not end well!
Ah the Hilarious Ways We Men Try to Solve Our Problems
When it comes to health and safety, these men have left their brains at home. Faced with some tricky challenges, they have tried to solve them in funny ways.
Hilarious: The Marriage Dictionary!
Have you been through the marriage dictionary yet? I think you'll find that the definitions it contains are much different to the ones in a regular dictionary.
Hilarious: Only in Dubai...
Dubai is a unique country, and offers some sights you'll probably never seen anywhere else in the world...
These Weird Road Signs Will Make You Laugh!
These outrageously funny street signs are certainly worth slowing down for!
Had a Bad Day? It Can Always Be Worse!
Forget about the bad day you think you're having - these poor folks got themselves into some serious fixes. Take a look at these hilarious photos.
HILARIOUS: Are These People Fools or Geniuses?
Some people have a really creative way of fixing a problem, and I do mean REALLY creative...
These Mistranslations are Too Funny Not to Share
Enjoy this hilarious collection of ridiculousy bad translation fails.
Comedy Gold: Do Not Mess With Buster Keaton!
Enjoy this rib-tickling sketch by the king of comedy, Buster Keaton.
The Singing Pug That Cannot Run - Hilarious!
Loca is a very lucky pug living in Ireland. With a loving family and lots of space to run outdoors, it's a great life. But Luca isn't very good at running, due to a non-harmful brain disorder. It's the only way it affects her, and she doesn't seem to
If You Don't Laugh at These, You Are Irony-Deficient...
The Irony Is Strong in These Photos...
These Seniors Live Life According to Their Own Rules...
These funny photos prove that as you get older, you stop caring about what other people think of you.
In Need of a Good Laugh? Check Out These Signs
Some shopkeepers have a hilarious sense of humor. Read these funny signs here!
Hilarious: Rowan Atkinson Welcomes You to Hell
Watch this hilarious British comedian's take on the devil introducing new sinners to hell.
When Parking Signs Get a Sense of Humor! (15 Pics)
Who knew no parking signs could make us laugh too?
These Birthday Quotes Will Make Your Loved Ones Smile
Here are some funny birthday quotes to remind you that your special day is worth celebrating and leaving a smile on your face.
These Cats and Dogs Cause Complete Christmas Carnage!
You dog or cat might be the world's most innocent creature for most of the year, but as soon as the holiday season comes around all this changes in a heartbeat.
The Classic Comedy of Rowan Atkinson: A Full Performance!
The comedy of Rowan Atkinson like you've never seen him before - a full performance!