Outside a pharmacy in a busy street, a poor man is clutching onto a pole for dear life, not breathing, not moving, not twitching a muscle, just standing there, frozen.
The pharmacist goes up to his assistant and asks: "What's the matter with that guy? Wasn't he in here earlier?"
Assistant replies: "Yes he was. He had the most terrible cough and none of my prescriptions seemed to help."
Pharmacist says: "He seems to be fine now."
Assistant replies: "Sure, he does. I gave him a box of the strongest laxatives on the market. Now he won't dare cough!"
There was the woman who approached the local pharmacist and asked for cyanide.
"What on earth would you want to do with cyanide?" he asked.
"I want to poison my husband" she said coolly.
Of course, the pharmacist was quite upset about this and made it quite clear to her that he was not going to be part of such a plot, and that he had no intention of selling any poison to her for that purpose.
The woman then took a photograph out of her bag. It showed the pharmacist's wife in bed with the woman's husband.
“Oh! You didn’t tell me you had a prescription!”
A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell bottom deodorant, and never have.
Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more.
"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."
"But I always get it here," says the blonde.
"Do you have the container it comes in?"
"Yes!" said the blonde, "I will go get it.
"She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."
The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container, "To apply, push up bottom."
Images (including cover) by Deposit Photos.
Scroll below for more funny jokes!
Hilarious: This Blonde Thinks Her Car Parts Were Stolen
When a blonde gets into her car, she notices a bunch of car parts that were there when she left them missing. She immediately reports the theft to 911...
Hilarious: The Pharmacist is NOT Impressed
After Dad visits the pharmacy and gets some treats for his young son, his boy's actions take an interesting turn on a return trip to the drug store...
Hilarious: Why Won't This Weirdo Take Her Headphones Off?
A blonde is rollerblading down the street when she decides to pop in for a haircut. She absolutely refuses to take off the headphones she's wearing...
3 Jokes About Blond Men That'll Make You Laugh out Loud
Blond jokes are just as funny when they are applied to men!
This Joke Starts With a Blonde Being Asked to Climb a Pole
A blonde is out and about when a group of men ask her to climb a pole. It doesn't take long for her to oblige...
We All Make These Mistakes as Parents... Hilarious!
When situations like this happen, we cannot help but giggle. Take a look at these hilarious parenting fails.
These Hilarious Pub Signs Are Enough to Tickle Your Fancy
When you're a pub landlord, it's always a challenge to get the customers through the door, but these 17 hilarious signs will show you how creative they can be.
The Wit and Humor of Groucho Marx – Funny Compilation
Sit back and enjoy this hilarious compilation of the funniest Groucho Marx insults and one-liners.
Lost in Translation: 15 Hilarious Language Fails
When translations from foreign languages into English go wrong, apart from being almost incomprehensible, the results are often outrageously hilarious!
Nostalgic Comedy: Did Bert Forget Their Anniversary?
In this episode Molly thinks Bert forgot their anniversary.
20 One-Frame Funnies That Will Make You Laugh
This New Yorker cartoonist's works are full of wit and humor.
Hilarious: The Real Dogs Behind the "Beware Dog" Signs
Here are 12 hilarious “Beware of the Dog” signs and the cuties behind those signs.
You're Busted! Hilarious 'Crime' Gags
This compilation is so funny it should be illegal! ).
Hand These Guys a Towel and Get Ready to Laugh!
This hilarious performance involves two young Frenchmen who have just a towel apiece to preserve their modesty. Watch this side-splitting performance.
Hilarious: 15 Embarrassingly Funny Autocorrect Disasters
Autocorrect fails can be ridiculously funny sometimes.
Joke: Making This Call About a Wedding is a Tough Decision
A bride and a groom are with a pastor finalizing details for their wedding day. The pastor asks them whether they want a traditional or contemporary wedding...
These Photos Will Leave You Doing a Double-Take!
There are some photos that will just leave you doing a double-take thanks to their perfect timing and odd composition. Take a look at these 18 surreal photos.
Mr. Bean: How Should One NOT Paint?
Our old friend Mr. Bean is the only one who can get into such a situation when all he needs to do is paint...
Crazy! What on Earth Were These Men Thinking?
If you were wondering why women tend to live a bit longer than men, then perhaps this collection of photos will make you understand a little better.
So Funny: Have You Ever Seen Christmas Trees Like THESE?
These are the most unusual Xmas trees you have ever seen!
18 Funny Animal Pics That'll Give You Some Cheer!
Here is a collection of some adorably funny animals being silly and cute at the same time.
These Architects Should Really Rethink Their Career Choice
Somebody messed up big time. You’ll laugh your head off seeing how wrong construction can go with these hilarious photos.
These Driving Fails Will Have You in Fits
It's a wonder how these folks ever got their driving licenses, such is the ridiculousness of their actions. Here are 25 utterly hilarious driving fails.
These Coffee Shop Customers Couldn't Believe Their Eyes...
This gag is going to make you wonder: Why aren't they gagging??
This Rude Prank Will Have You Screaming With Laughter!
When the a gag team sets up a secret love affair between a priest and a couple of nuns, the resulting chaos that ensues will make you scream with laughter!
These Guys Have Some WEIRD Choices in Christmas Sweaters!
Some people just have bizarre tastes when it comes to Christmas sweaters.
I Can't Stop Laughing at These Hilarious Wedding Photos
From cows making babies to groomsmen falling into the ocean, here are some of the most sidesplitting wedding photobombs you'll ever see.
The Funny Side of Having Too Much Technology...
It's crazy to think about how most of us have become attached to our cellphones, but there's a funny side to the whole thing. Take a look at these memes.
Hilarious: These "translators" Should Quit Their Job...
This is hilarious!! See These Signs in ENGLISH!!
HILARIOUS! The Heart versus the Brain, Who Beats Whom?
These comics put a cheerful twist on chores, work and responsibilities. You'll recognize yourself in these funny stories about the Heart & the Brain.
Hilarious: How Cold IS IT?
Don’t like the chilly weather? Then you will relate to these hilarious winter memes.
Hilarious: Who Needs a Truck When You Can Have a Motorcycle
Although motorcycles were designed to transport a couple of people, some around the world have found more... innovative (and hilarious) ways of using them.
25 Pictures that Prove Photographers are Crazy!
Some people are willing to go above and beyond what is needed (or safe) in order to take the perfect photo...
20 Hilarious Comic Strips to Bring Joy to Your Day!
Ready to bring some positivity and sunshine to your day? These feel-good comics feature cute animals and puns are sure to make you smile!
Hilarious! Mr Bean Wreaks Havoc at the School Open Day
Whether he's in the art gallery, at a calligraphy demonstration, or even in the science lab, nobody is safe when Mr. Bean is around!
Interior Design Fails: You Won't Believe This!
Some people have to live with really absurd home designs that make no sense. Take a look.
15 Quirky Spanish Idioms That'll Brighten Your Day
Who doesn’t love a funny idiom? Today, let’s learn about some hilariously quirky Spanish idioms.
The 30 Craziest State Laws Are Just Too Funny For Words!
Check out 30 of the craziest laws that are still in effect in the US today!
20 Weird and Terrifically Hilarious Signs…
These hilariously bizarre signs are just what we needed today.
Classic Comedy: Mr. Bean Takes the Train
Another great comedy jewel from Rowan Atkinson, this is uproariously funny scene.
This Simon's Cat Collection is All You Need for Smile Today!
Created by Simon Tofield in 2008, Simon's Cat is on a constant mission to get fed. Enjoy this hilarious collection of 16 of his most famous escapades.
Classic Comedy: Lucy Goes to Work at a Chocolate Factory
What happens when Lucy and Ethel go to work at a factory?
Hilarious: Have You Seen The New Senior Bumper Stickers?
Here are some bumper stickers specially made for the retired lifestyle!
You'll Never Guess How THIS Video Ends...
This hilarious short film won countless awards and endless praise.
The Empty Car Drive Through Prank!
Some people come up with the silliest pranks, but what do we care, we're the ones who get to laugh out loud at the bewilderment of these drive through workers, as a car driven by a ghost goes to collect its order...