The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, "If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey?"
"No, I stopped drinking years ago," the bum said.
"Will you use it to gamble?"
"I don't gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive."
"Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?"
"Are you NUTS!? I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
The man said, "Well, I'm not going to give you two dollars. Instead, I'm going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The bum was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad."
The man replied: "That's OK. I just want her to see what a man who's given up drinking, gambling and golf looks like."
For more funny jokes scroll below!
Joke: Putting Your Private Part Right Is Gonna Cost
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Joke: This Man Really Needed to Confess Something...
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Joke: Wedding Decisions
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This Joke Starts With a Greedy Man...
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Joke: The Old Golf Partner
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Joke: Two Women Hit It Off In Arizona
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Hilarious: Best of Terrible Strangers Pranks!
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Classic Comedy: How NOT to Pick Up Women
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16 Parenthood Comics That’ll Make You Roll In the Aisles
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As We Age, We Learn Some Hilarious Things...
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Hilarious: These Dogs Never Saw it Coming...
When these dogs get pranked, they can't believe it!
Interior Design Fails: You Won't Believe This!
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Classic Comedy: Getting Rid of Whom?? (Adult Humor)
I can't stop laughing at this hilarious scene...
George Carlin Had a Funny Way of Telling the Truth!
Mr George Carlin's legacy will be fondly remembered for many years. There are not many people who can entertain, amuse, and delight by asking a simple question.
Who Knew Church Signs could be This Funny?
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These Work Safety Fails Will Make Your Hair Stand on End!
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Watch What Happens When Simon's Cat Gets Stuck in a Tree
What happens when Simon's Cat gets stuck in a tree? Hilarious!
Mrs Brown Does a Hilarious Strip Tease - for the Vicar!
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Food and Humor Collide in These Cheeky Restaurants
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When it Comes to Comedy, Twins Have an Unfair Advantage...
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These Witty Signboards Will Make Certainly You Chuckle
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This Prank is Something Quite Magical!
A levitating woman is rudely interrupted by a kid... hilarious!
WARNING: These Signs Will Make You Howl with Laughter
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Classic Comedy: the Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook!
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Hilarious: Quick, Mrs. Brown, Answer the Phone! (Rude)
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Classic Comedy: The Three Santas...
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If You Want the Truth, Read This Hilarious Dictionary
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Here Are 14 of the World's Funniest Bumper Stickers
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This Stand-Up Routine is as Funny as They Come!
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The Empty Car Drive Through Prank!
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These 15 Hilariously Naughty Pets Were Caught in the Act
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16 Intensely Funny Signs Spotted In the Wild
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12 Naughty Dogs Caught Being Cheeky While You Were Out
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The Hilarious Antics of These Birds Will Make You Chuckle
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Australia, the Unpredictable - 21 Sidesplitting Photos!
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I Can't Stop Laughing at These Bizarre Signs!
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