The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, "If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey?"
"No, I stopped drinking years ago," the bum said.
"Will you use it to gamble?"
"I don't gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive."
"Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?"
"Are you NUTS!? I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
The man said, "Well, I'm not going to give you two dollars. Instead, I'm going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The bum was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad."
The man replied: "That's OK. I just want her to see what a man who's given up drinking, gambling and golf looks like."
For more funny jokes scroll below!
This Joke Starts With a Huge Family Waiting For a Bus
A blind man vies for a seat on a bus with a family with nine children. Inevitably, he and the husband do not make it on due to overcrowding. An argument ensues.
This Joke Starts With a Man On His Deathbed
A man lies on his deathbed, surrounded by his wife and four children. Three are tall and athletic, but the fourth... isn't. He asks his wife about them...
Joke: The Fortune Teller and the Bad News
A sneaky woman decides to visit a fortune teller when she's in New Orleans
Joke: Come On, Honey...
A newlywed steps out of the shower and is promptly asked to pose for a nude photo by her husband. She wants one of him in return...
This Joke Starts With a Man Working Late
A businessman works late to be with his young secretary, but eventually makes his way home. He begins to think up his excuses...
Funny: It's Not My Fault That You Didn't Use Them, Pal
When a husband and wife on a long car journey decide to stop overnight, little did they imagine the shock they were in for when receiving their bill...
Just for Laughs: Hilarious Coffee Pranks and Gags
Check out this hilarious collection of coffee pranks by “Just for Laughs”.
I Swear Officer, I Was Framed!
These people thought they were helping film a prank, but they didn't realize what will happen next...
14 Hilarious Christmas Baby Photo Shoot Fails
While many of us think that it would be a great idea to have a photoshoot with our young children, unfortunately they never seem to go as planned...
10 Jokes That Are So Bad, They're Actually Funny!
Sometimes jokes are so bad that they're actually funny. Here are 10 bad jokes that will make you chuckle!
This Hilarious Video Starts With an Elephant...
This is one of the most clever pranks I've ever seen
These Funny Illustrations Show What Life Is Like With Kids!
Jim Benton is a cartoonist and illustrator who has managed to capture life with young kids perfectly. Take a look at his hilarious drawings.
You're Never Too Old To Have Fun! These Seniors Prove It
There may be some seniors who'd rather take life slowly. But others, do not want to waste a second having fun.
15 Stupendously Meaningless Road Signs That Really Exist
Signs are meant to be visual aids, reminders that also serve as a guide. If you ever drove by these incredible road signs, would you know what to do? I wouldn't have a clue.
Hilarious: When Signs Think You're an Idiot
A collection of signs, articles, manuals and more that are completely obvious and pointless...
This is Definitely the Funniest Song About Flight Discounts!
If something looks too good to be true, it usually is. So these ladies decided to write a hilarious song to warn us all!
Classic Comedy: It's Not Easy Being a Conductor!
This hilarious and musical comedy sketch will leave you both delighted and laughing!
21 Single-Panel Comics That Deliver the Laughs
Enjoy this hilarious collection of single-frame comics by Doug Hill.
Comedy Gold: Enjoy This Rib-Tickling Laurel & Hardy Clip
Enjoy this hilarious clip from a Laurel and Hardy short titled ‘The Snow Hawk’.
These Dry-humored Comic Strips Are Utterly Brilliant
If you've never seen Pie Comic by John McNamee before, then you need to take a look at this post. His comic strips are hilarious!
Eek! Remember When Chaplin Got Trapped in the Lion's Cage?
This classic scene has me rolling around the floor every time...
Hilarious: English is a Seriously ODD Language...
If you thought English is a clear-cut and tidy language, you better read this.
These Funny Photos Show People's Relationship With Food!
There's no doubting that everyone's relationship with food is different, and this leads to people creating hilarious memes related to it! Take a look.
Hilarious: Cats are Some of the Funniest Creatures
Prepare for a foray into the delightful absurdity of living with cats.
Uproarious: Please Don't Sit Next to Me, Mr. Bean!
Mr. Bean is back, and this time he's on a plane trying to cheer up a young boy who is feeling a little sick. The results are of course hilarious!
Want a Laugh? Try These Funny Comics & Cartoons!
You're never too old for funny cartoons! So take a minute to put everything aside and enjoy a few silly moments Baba-Mail is happy to share with you.
Classic Comedy: Mr. Bean At the Restaurant
Watch and see what happens as Mr. Bean gets a taste of a raw Steak Tartare, and decides he doesn’t really like it…
Hilarious: These Animals Decided to be Jerks Today
Animals are lovely, but even they have the scoundrels that annoy the rest!
Who Knew These Famous Figures Were so Cheeky and Funny?
The wittiest, most devastating responses in history. Warning! These are guaranteed to make you laugh!
These Images of Pets Returning from the Vet Are Hilarious!
Here is a collection of funny images of pets that have just returned from the vet, and their expressions say it all!
Hilarious Sketch: The Great Piano Concerto
This hilarious sketch by a classic comedy duo puts you in the middle of the worst execution of a concert imaginable.
Hilarious: Mr. Bean is Looking for Something...
Leave it to Mr. Bean to make it a hilarious search!
20 One-Frame Funnies That Will Make You Laugh
This New Yorker cartoonist's works are full of wit and humor.
Hilarious: These Hilarious Repairs Will Really Crack You Up!
Here are 14 hilarious repair fails that are bound to give you a good laugh!
Hilarious: These "translators" Should Quit Their Job...
This is hilarious!! See These Signs in ENGLISH!!
WARNING: These Signs Will Make You Howl with Laughter
Here, we present to you the best and funniest signs we've seen so far this year, enjoy!
Classic Comedy: What's Your Name?
A classic skit from the ground-breaking British sketch show 'A Bit of Fry and Laurie', starring Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie
Pets That Never Fail to Make Us Laugh & Brighten Our Day
Pets always have a way of making us laugh. Take a look at this hilarious clip that will surely brighten your day.
The Lighter Side of Love: 18 Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes
Love is a serious matter, but it’s good to have some humor about it sometimes.
Hilarious: Grammar is a Funny Subject!
These grammar jokes will have you on the floor they are so ridiculous!
FUNNY: 51 "Chinese" Proverbs the Chinese Never Thought About
These proverbs aren't really Chinese, but they're still really funny! In fact we're willing to bet they'll make you laugh out loud! Enjoy!
Cats Have An Innate Ability to Be Really Naughty..
If you have a cat, you know that they can be partial to behaving like jerks sometimes. This is especially true in the 19 hilarious photos you're about to see.
HILARIOUS: 14 Cat Comics That'll Make You Laugh Out Loud!
This hilarious cat comics, drawn by Scott Metzger, perfectly capture the nature of cats.