The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, "If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey?"
"No, I stopped drinking years ago," the bum said.
"Will you use it to gamble?"
"I don't gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive."
"Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?"
"Are you NUTS!? I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
The man said, "Well, I'm not going to give you two dollars. Instead, I'm going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The bum was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad."
The man replied: "That's OK. I just want her to see what a man who's given up drinking, gambling and golf looks like."
For more funny jokes scroll below!
Have You Heard This Joke? The Special Gift
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Hilarious: Some Photos You Can Only Take in Africa...
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These Mistranslations are Too Funny Not to Share
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This is One of the Funniest Videos I've Ever Seen! (Cheeky)
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Your Smile Video of the Day
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Funny: Is This Mother Selling Her Baby On the Street??
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Hilarious: The Evil Grocery Store!
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It’s Hard to Believe These Hilarious US Laws Still Exist!
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Over 100 Hilarious Memes!
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These Comic Strips Are So Funny, You'll Ask for More!
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This Hilarious Video Starts With an Elephant...
This is one of the most clever pranks I've ever seen
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