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Who Knew You Couldn't Board a Flight with These?

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.

 

 

Al-Gebra's Terrible Plot Against the Homeland

 

At a morning press conference, the US Attorney General said he believed the man is a member of the notorious al-Gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
 

Al-Gebra is a fearsome cult," he said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.


"As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there are three sides to every triangle".

Al-Gebra's Terrible Plot Against the Homeland

When asked to comment on the arrest, the President said:


"If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes".

 

Photos by Deposit Photos.

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