The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, "If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey?"
"No, I stopped drinking years ago," the bum said.
"Will you use it to gamble?"
"I don't gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive."
"Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?"
"Are you NUTS!? I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
The man said, "Well, I'm not going to give you two dollars. Instead, I'm going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The bum was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad."
The man replied: "That's OK. I just want her to see what a man who's given up drinking, gambling and golf looks like."
For more funny jokes scroll below!
Joke: Two Women Hit It Off In Arizona
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Joke: Wedding Decisions
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Joke: Putting Your Private Part Right Is Gonna Cost
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Joke: It's Difficult to Fulfill a Dying Wish Sometimes
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18 Terrible Sign Designs That Will Have You Bust a Gut
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And the Award for the WEIRDEST Subway Passenger Goes To...
Riding the subway is worth it just to encounter these passengers.
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Hilarious: Some of the Funniest Shop Names I've Seen!
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The Funny Difference Between Male & Female Brains
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Why Men Should NOT Be Allowed in the Kitchen!
A perfect example of why some men are useless in the kitchen
16 Intensely Funny Signs Spotted In the Wild
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Hilarious: Mr. Bean is Looking for Something...
Leave it to Mr. Bean to make it a hilarious search!
These Punny Illustrations Will Give You a Good Chuckle
Enjoy this collection of illustrated puns by artist Teo Zirinis.
These Hilarious Grammar Jokes are a Verbal Delight!
Do you enjoy a good pun? Somehow, they become even funnier when they're related to grammar. Here are 17 hilarious grammar jokes for you to enjoy.
Only Mr. Bean Can Make a Picnic Hilarious
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Hilarious: Ready for Some Christmas Cartoons?
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How Much Sleep Do We Need at Different Ages?
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These Hilarious Pictures Will Have You Laughing Out Loud
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These Child Letters to God are Both Touching and Hilarious
The letters these kids write are astounding.
These Funny Illustrations Show What Life Is Like With Kids!
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Hilarious: Don't Mess With This Little Girl!
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These Cartoons Will Make You Laugh and Think...
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Hilarious: Who Needs a Truck When You Can Have a Motorcycle
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These House Design Decisions Are Criminally Bad!
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Hilarious: English is a Seriously ODD Language...
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Classic Comedy: The Three Santas...
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Comedy Gold: Do Not Mess With Buster Keaton!
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Furry Scary: When Pets Left Their Owners Spooked!
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Three Sly Phone Scams That Could Cost You Big Time...
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Watch These Funny Animals Get Into Mischief!
Watch this video compilation of animals and pets getting into funny situations.
Lost in Translation: 15 Hilarious Language Fails
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25 Pictures that Prove Photographers are Crazy!
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This Video is Proof Farm Animals Are Just As Funny As Pets
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These Cat Tweets Will Give You Plenty to Laugh About!
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Enjoy the hilarious winners of the Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards 2023!
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