One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him in the leg with the hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"
"Amen," replied the congregation.
For more funny jokes scroll below.
Laugh Your Socks Off With These Amusing Car Pranks
Watch the works of these tricksters on their friends, family and neighbors! There is even one specially dedicated to the local police officers.
Joke: The Odd Driver
When a cop pulls over a man for speeding, little does he know what he's in for...
Cheeky Joke: Meeting the Parents
A biker just found himself the perfect Harley with a tube of Vaseline thrown in to protect it from the rain.Things start to go awry at his girlfriend's house...
We Guarantee That These Dumb Jokes Will Make You Giggle
Here is a collection of jokes that are so dumb they're actually quite funny.
These Punny Opposites Are Absolutely Hilarious!
If silly puns are your cup of tea, then we've got one heck of a treat in store for you!
With These Witty Lines Anyome Can be Star of the Party
some funny sayings with a something for everyone.
My All-Time Favorite Broken-English Signs
English may be well-known but it's not always well-written. Here are some hilarious signs
Classic Comedy: Getting Rid of Whom?? (Adult Humor)
I can't stop laughing at this hilarious scene...
Classic Comedy: Mr. Bean Takes the Train
Another great comedy jewel from Rowan Atkinson, this is uproariously funny scene.
Classic Comedy: Sure, I Can Play the Concerto!
In this classic skit, world famous conductor Andre Previn attempts to get Eric Morecambe to play Grieg's Piano Concerto. How will they get on?
The People Behind These Funny Fails Are Beyond Reproach!
Some people simply should not be entrusted with construction or any kind of DIY work. The 15 photos you're about to see will show you exactly why!
Hilarious: Time to Laugh at Some Fresh Cartoons!
Forget everything today and just enjoy these hilarious one-panel comics by Mark Lynch.
Classic Comedy: How NOT to Pick Up Women
This Carol Burnett classic comedy sketch is all about picking up women, but this guy doesn't have a clue.
It's Not Fun Being Old, But Sometimes It's Funny...
Let me make your day with these photos that made almost made me spill my coffee this morning.
Hilarious: 15 Witty Bar and Restaurant Signs
These bars and restaurants deserve a visit just for their funny signs.
20 Weird Pictures of Things That Happen Only In India
Things are a little different in India...
Hilarious: Some Guys REALLY Think Outside the Box...
Here are some of my favorite examples of male creativity at work.
Funny: When 8 Priests Come Face-to-Face with Lingerie
This clip from a classic Irish comedy features 8 desperate priests embarrassingly trapped in the lingerie department. This will bring tears to your eyes.
Funny Signs Galore - We Can’t Stop Laughing!
It’s the perfect time to lighten the mood with a fresh batch of funnies!
These Pics Perfectly Show the Funny Side of Life in the UK
These weirdly hilarious pictures perfectly show the funny side of life in the UK.
These Fortune Cookies Will Make You Howl With Laughter
Here you’ll find a selection of some of the funniest messages to ever be found inside fortune cookies.
Classic Comedy: Why Michelangelo Didn't Do the Last Supper
One of the lesser known sketches of the famous Monty Python is a hoot and a half - explaining why Michelangelo didn't paint the last supper.
If You've Got a Sense of Humor, You'll Love These Liners!
Which of these short jokes will crack you up?
Some People REALLY Don’t Care About Safety - 15 Funny Pics!
Some of these bizarre work safety fails will give you anxiety!
Funny Photos: You Had One Job!
These ridiculously funny work fail pictures will have you laughing all day.
No Object is Safe From These Grumpy Cats!
No object is safe from these cats! In this hilarious video, you'll see cats attacking vacuum attachments, pushing things off tables, and much more!
This Has Got to be the World's Funniest Orchestra!
This orchestra not only provides you with great music, but great laughs as well.
When Kid Photos Don't Come Out the Way You Hoped...
Click to see the outcome of kids who did not want to have their photos taken.
Every Species Has Its Comedians...
There's nothing better than animals to make us smile and laugh!
These Uproarious Cartoons Make Age a Hilarious Affair...
These comics show that the best way to deal with aging is to have good old laugh it!
Hilarious Sketch: The Great Piano Concerto
This hilarious sketch by a classic comedy duo puts you in the middle of the worst execution of a concert imaginable.
Rodney Dangerfield, The Man of a Million One liners!
Here is a great compilation of some of his best lines and of course - his terrific delivery, Dangerfield style.
Sometimes All You Need is One Line to Make You Laugh...
28 hilarious and short jokes! Read them all at once or come back and read one every day, no funny business
Ridiculous But Mighty Cute: the Pumpkin Toadlet
Every now and again, nature makes a blip, and we discover quirky or funny species. Guess what this frog can't do.
Joke: Making This Call About a Wedding is a Tough Decision
A bride and a groom are with a pastor finalizing details for their wedding day. The pastor asks them whether they want a traditional or contemporary wedding...
Who Said God Isn't Funny? These Church Signs are Hilarious!
Although churches are houses of worship, that doesn't mean to say that they can't have a sense of humor! These amazing signs are evidence of that.
Hilarious! 16 Photos of Cops Having a Good Time...
These 16 photos prove that police officers can have a cracking sense of humor!
This 'Man Song' is a Complete Hoot!
Watch the legendary Milton singing 'The Man Song' by Sean Morey in this hilarious video.
15 Witty and Funny Marathon Signs That Made Us Chuckle
These absolutely wacky, witty, and hilarious signs were spotted at the NYC Marathon.
18 Hilariously Weird Signs We Just Had to Share
Warning signs aren’t supposed to be funny, right?
Hilarious Signs: This Ice Cream Shop Cracked Me Up!
This collection of 12 hilarious signs will give you a taste of an excellent sense of humor!
Do You Remember This Classic Sketch? What a Riot!
Benny Hill goes to the big apple and teaches us a few things about meeting women.