If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
A whale swims all day, mainly eats fish and drinks water, but is still fat.
A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.
And you tell me to exercise? I don't think so.
Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to remember the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:
• I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
• My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
• I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
• Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
• Some days, you're the top dog; some days you're the hydrant.
• It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.
• If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?
• I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.
• Kids in the back-seat cause accidents.
• Accidents in the back-seat cause kids.
• It's not hard to meet expenses - they're everywhere.
• The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
• These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter - I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here, after".
• Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
• HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE???
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A man and a woman are drinking in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building. The man soon makes a startling revelation...
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These 18 Pictures Sum Up What It’s Like to Visit Canada
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Among all the hundreds of hilarious Mr. Bean sketches, this is one of my all time favorites
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This May Be the Funniest Message I've Ever Heard...
This has to be the funniest hotline message ever recorded.
This Prank is Something Quite Magical!
A levitating woman is rudely interrupted by a kid... hilarious!
Vandalism Is Not Okay. Unless It Makes You Laugh Out Loud
Vandalism is WRONG. Unless it makes you laugh out loud. Then it’s okay.
Who Said God Isn't Funny? These Church Signs are Hilarious!
Although churches are houses of worship, that doesn't mean to say that they can't have a sense of humor! These amazing signs are evidence of that.
Hilarious Comedy: Don't Invite Mr. Bean to a Wedding...
Why on Earth did anyone think to invite Mr. Bean to the wedding? Well, frankly, I'm glad they did.
Arrest These Designers! 20 Cases of Design Faux Pas
From ashtrays labelled with 'No Smoking' signs to lemons that can supposedly produce orange juice, you've got to see these 20 hilarious design fails!
Collection - Design Fails & Construction Mistakes
An enormous collection of terrible design and construction mistakes.
20 Clever Words for Clever People To Laugh Over...
Have you heard of these words? No?? How come?
Collection: The Most Hilarious and Bizarre Signs
his wonderful collection will make you laugh out loud as we present you with some of the funniest signs you've ever seen!
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Some of these puns are pretty cheesy, but they'll make you feel grate!
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22 of the funniest New Yorker cartoons that are just clever enough to be funny but not mysteriously so.
Lost in Translation: 15 Hilarious Language Fails
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These Funny Illustrations Show What Life Is Like With Kids!
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Excuse Me, Interior Designers? May I Ask... WHY?!?
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These Photos Will Leave You Doing a Double-Take!
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Hilarious: Come On Ladies, Let's Poke Some Fun!
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Blondes aren't stupid, but these classic blonde jokes are still really funny.
Sometimes All You Need is One Line to Make You Laugh...
28 hilarious and short jokes! Read them all at once or come back and read one every day, no funny business
This Gag Compilation is Literally Out of This World...
This video is so much fun, you're gonna have a blast!
Eek! Remember When Chaplin Got Trapped in the Lion's Cage?
This classic scene has me rolling around the floor every time...
Food and Humor Collide in These Cheeky Restaurants
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20 Frighteningly Funny Signs to Watch Out For...
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You Won't Believe What This Little Old Lady Gets Up To...
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Hilarious: These 20 Comic Strips Will Make You Chuckle
These comic strips created by Andres Colmenares also known as Wawawiwa comics, are too awesome to describe! Click here to check them out!