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Have You Heard This Joke? These Jokes Are Rude!

You have 10 seconds." "Hmm, uhm, the head?" she said nervously. "Very good. Six seconds." "Eh, uh, the heart?" "Very good! Four seconds." "I, uhh, hh, darn! My husband drilled it into me last night and I had it on the tip of my tongue this morning..." " That's close enough!

Have You Heard This Joke? You Can't Take it With You...

"I always heard you can't take it with you, but I am going to prove you can," he said. "I have $90,000 cash hidden underneath my mattress. It's in 3 envelopes of $30,000 each.

Have You Heard This Joke? The Free Runner

A woman was having an affair while her husband was at work. One day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway. " Oh My God - Hurry! Grab your clothes," she yelled to her lover. "And jump out the window. My husband's home early!"

Have You Heard This Joke? A Problem With the Horse

The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, "All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, "ALLLLEEE OOOP!" really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that, you'll be fine."

Have You Heard This Joke? The Big Bastard

"Oh," says the bishop, scratching his chin "I could clean that bastard and we could have it for dinner." So the bishop takes the fish, cleans it, and brings it to the mother superior. "Could you cook this bastard for dinner tonight?" he asks her. "My, what language!" she exclaims, clearly shocked.

Have You Heard This Joke? Quite the Coincidence!

While they toasted, the farmer asked, "What are you celebrating?" "My husband and I have been trying to have a child for years, and today, my gynecologist told me that I was pregnant." "What a coincidence," said the man.

Have You Heard This Joke? A Hard Call!

"Might as well have her lovely company." said he, and the loving wife agreed. The third prisoner asked for an endless supply of cigarettes. "It's the only thing that will calm me down all these years." They are locked inside, each with his wish. 25 years pass...

Have You Heard This Joke? The Unhealthiest of Foods...

"The rubbish we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is full of steroids and dye. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG.

Have You Heard This Joke? The Supportive Wife

He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. “Will I have to go home and come back now?” he asked. The woman said, “Unbutton your shirt.” So he opened his shirt, revealing lots of silver, curly hair.

Have You Heard This Joke? The Centipede Butler!

All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried, and put away. The counter-tops have been cleaned and the appliances are sparkling. Even the floor was waxed. He’s absolutely amazed. He says to the centipede, “Go clean the living room.” Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room.

Have You Heard This Joke? An Embarrassing Problem...

I can't tell you how embarrassing it is to have a compulsion like this." Far from being angry, the bartender was sympathetic. Before long, he was suggesting that the man see a psychoanalyst about his problem. "I happen to have the name of a psychoanalyst," the bartender said.

Have You Heard This Joke? A Hellish Schedule

Confused he asks where he is, "Hell," said the devil "but before you get overly concerned, it's not as bad as you think it is..." "What!!" said the guy, starting to panic. "How can that be, I'm a good person, this can't be right, it can't be!"

Have You Heard This Joke? The Stuttering (Rude)

For more funny jokes scroll below. Funny Joke: Getting Rid of a Stutter funny, joke, rude, doctor, baba recommends, adult, Stutter, funny jokes, bad jokes, rude jokes Enjoy this funny joke about a guy who wanted his stutter removed...

Have You Heard This Joke? A Blond Trilogy!

We know we at Baba-Mail make fun of blondes a lot, but really, it's just a funny stereotype we all know is wrong, but cannot be discounted as a funny type of joke. So I hope you enjoy these 3 classic blond jokes that really made me grin! A blond has become dreadfully overweight.

Have You Heard This Joke? What Gender is it?

The teacher thought it would be a good exercise to have the students decide what they thought the gender should be. So she split the class into two groups appropriately enough, by gender and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Have You Heard This Joke? A Rare Condition (Rude)

Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before.

Have You Heard This Joke? We're Saved!

However, one woman's actions (or lack of them) have ensured that they will be found quicker than they thought...

Have You Heard This Joke? The Only Explanation!

I'll tell you what happened. I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip. I get home... and guess what I found?? "Yes, your daughter, my wife Jean, naked with Tim McDurmt in our marital bed! This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I'm done.

Have You Heard This Joke? A Good Influence

A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him: "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" "That's obscene!"

Have You Heard This Joke? A Strange Creature...

"I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and can't see." "That's perfectly all right," replied the snake. "To be sure, it was my fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?"

Have You Heard These Jokes? It's a Funny Wife...

Despite it all, we cannot help but be a little comical about the differences between the two sexes, so if you agree with us on this, the following short jokes will surely have you bursting into laughter! Marriage is like a public toilet. Those waiting outside are desperate to get in...

Have You Heard This Joke? What's in a Name...

After a few hours of talking and analyzing their words and behavior, he said: "I believe that you all suffer from some obsession." He turned to the first mother and said, "You obviously have an obsession with food. You've even named your daughter Candy ." He turned to the second Mom.