Each of us has "enemies" in life; People who seem to enjoy causing hurt, suffering and misery. Sometimes we create enemies because of differences in personality and sometimes it happens because people hate us for no apparent reason.
The truth is that it doesn’t matter why you have an "enemy", the attempt to fight fire with fire is bound to fail and, in fact, there are 8 reasons why enemies may be a positive factor in your life. When you understand these reasons you can develop a mutual understanding or at least understanding on your part, which will help you develop better relationships instead of continuing the cycle of hatred and anger.
If we’re being honest, our enemies are the best people to teach us self-restraint and anger-management. While it’s true that our "enemies" have ways of riling us up, this is exactly what can help us deal with this negative emotion better. After all, we can’t be forever angry at people who are important to us and that we want to love, and often the feelings of anger we experience because of them leave us feeling guilty.
To do this in the most efficient way, try to understand what is bothering you about your "enemy’s" attitude toward you, and once you understand it consciously, you’ll be able to deal with the anger in a better and healthier way. Think of your "enemies" as therapists who help you deal with the negative emotions you don’t want to deal with, or can’t deal with alone.
2. This is an opportunity for healthy competition
You may not see it this way now, but your "enemies" seem to think of you as competitors and if you are in a situation where you have to compete with one another, they can encourage you to feel competitive. However, it is important that you remember not to become ruder and cruder versions of yourselves to enter the competition; don’t harm yourself or others, and don’t let your morale get hurt in the process. If you see your relationship as a "competition" rather than a "rivalry", it can help reduce anger or even teach you how to deal with it better.
Your "enemies" probably don’t have many good things to say about you, and they might even only say bad things about you. However, even if they speak out of a place of hatred, there may be some truth in their words. Whenever you hear something unpleasant from one of your "enemies," take a step back and try to evaluate yourself. There is a chance that your "enemy" is saying something true at its core, but in the wrong way, and if you understand what it is they are trying to say, make a significant step in your personal growth and try to change.
If you decide to love your "enemies", you will take the first step in developing a healthier and more peaceful relationship with them. Our "enemies" don’t always want to intentionally hurt us, and sometimes they only feel hurt by us. Ultimately, if you can build a healthy relationship by overcoming the gaps between the both of you, you’ll make a friend instead of an enemy, and we all need friends in our lives. This approach will help you in the long run, and will provide you peace of mind, as long as you can develop a cordial relationship between you and them – the barrier to this is mostly in your head.
When we are preoccupied with our "enemies" and how they hurt us, it is very difficult for us to change our thoughts and make them positive even in cases unrelated to them. However, if you accept your "enemies" and understand that each of us has such people in our lives, you will also stop worrying about them and ease the negative thoughts that flood your head. If you take another step forward and cultivate feelings of love for your "enemies," you will learn how to think about anything angry or frustrating that happens to you in a more positive way, and ultimately that affects how the experience will be interpreted in your mind – either as good or bad.
Sometimes we create enemies simply because of a small misunderstanding. It is very difficult to see this once it happens, but a small misunderstanding can put a strain on any relationship, and if it is a relationship with an enemy, it’ll only make the strain bigger. If you try to create a calm dialogue between you both and find out the cause of the fracture that has been created, you will understand how to fix it and your relationship. Misunderstandings happen from time to time, and you have to develop the ability to solve them in time.