1. Insults and Criticism
Words carry weight, and sometimes they can carry the weight of the world. While our family is supposed to be our source of encouragement and support, negative words can damage the core of family relationships. We may think that just because something was said casually it won't hurt the other person, but the truth is that words hurt, however they are said. Remind yourself that as family you are there to be one another's support in life. So, if there are people in your family who have problems with words, then set the example and set it strong. Though instead, use words that encourage and uplift family members.
2. Gossip
Gossip can be very damaging. Gossip usually occurs when someone is upset with someone. And though it may make a person feel better temporarily, gossiping will not solve the problem. If you have a problem, or issue with a family member, you don't need to announce your issue in front of the whole family as this will be forcing family members to choose sides. Consequently, choosing sides cause a division in the family. Instead, go to the person directly and speak to them privately. Remember to voice your concerns in a manner that helps them see things from your perspective.
3. Lack of Inclusion
For family unity, inclusion is essential. At family functions, include all family members, even if you know that they are going to say 'no'. Hard feelings arise because of failure to ask and failure to include. If your goal is family unity and love among all members, then include everyone in family gatherings and functions. Don't find excuses to not include all members in family gatherings and functions.
4. Deception and Lies
Deception in a family is destructive. Keep the saying: the truth always prevails in mind. Sometimes it may take years or even a generation for the lies and deceit to become known, but one day they will come to light someday. After all, if you can't be honest with your family, who can you be honest with? Keeping secrets from family members can lead to brokenness in a family, which arises due to trust being corroded. All actions have consequences. Be open and honest with your family. If you have done something that is hurtful to family members, apologize and make an effort to rectify the situation for the sake of family unity.
5. Failure to Accept Differences
Even if children grow up in the same home, with the same parents, same discipline and guidance, they don't turn out to be the same exact adults as their siblings. We all have differences so allow others to be different. Choosing to put a foothold in the differences and create family strife because of differences, then the extended family unit is ultimately damaged. Accept people for who they are, this is the ultimate form of love.
6. No Apologies and No Forgiveness
Apologizing and forgiving are what keeps families together. Remember that no one is perfect, and at some point in time you will hurt a member of the family. Saying sorry can heal wounds and create a stronger family bond. When you apologize to a family member you are letting them know that they matter and you don't want ill feelings between you and them. When someone apologizes be a gracious forgiver. Families need one another so don't hold grudges as it can burden you and harm the family. Forgive and show your forgiveness with your actions as well as your words.
