The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, "If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey?"
"No, I stopped drinking years ago," the bum said.
"Will you use it to gamble?"
"I don't gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive."
"Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?"
"Are you NUTS!? I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
The man said, "Well, I'm not going to give you two dollars. Instead, I'm going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The bum was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad."
The man replied: "That's OK. I just want her to see what a man who's given up drinking, gambling and golf looks like."
For more funny jokes scroll below!
This Joke Begins With a Wandering Eye...
A woman loses her glass eye when she sneezes. A man is quick to catch it. She subsequently invites him over for dinner and they have a wonderful evening...
Joke: Wedding Decisions
A bride and a groom are with a pastor finalizing details for their wedding day. The pastor asks them whether they want a traditional or contemporary wedding...
This Joke Starts With a Greedy Man...
A stingy lawyer simply isn't willing to let go of the money he has earned - even in death. That's why he hatches to plan to prove that you can take it with you.
Joke: This Man Really Needed to Confess Something...
A woman is holding a candlelit vigil at her husband's bedside when he tells her that he has a confession to make...
Have You Heard This Joke? The Special Gift
A man gets into a wreck and severely burns his face. His wife is very generous and gives him a skin graft. Little does he know the pleasure she gets out of it..
These Pics Were Taken Just One Second Before "Disaster"
These hilarious photos were taken a split second before “disaster” struck.
15 Hilarious Photobombing Moments That Will Make You Laugh
Sometimes, a photobomb can result in some incredibly hilarious moments.
COMEDY COLLECTION: Giggle at Mr. Bean's Funniest Antics
Mr. bean (Sir Rowan Atkinson) is one of comedy’s most memorable characters. Get your funny bone ready for some serious tickling, as we show you 18 of Mr. Bean's funniest skits ever.
Some Animals are True Comedians...
Who knew wildlife could be this funny? Here are 13 of this year's funny wild animal award nominees.
22 Hilarious Observations Made in Different Countries
22 hilarious photos that show that some stereotypes about certain places do have a little bit of truth to them. Rude to some, amusing to others, we present to you our selection of best “Meanwhile, in…” photos.
The Funniest Outdoor Signs from This Vet Clinic
The Carroll County Veterinary Clinic grabs people’s attention with its hilarious roadside signs
17 Unexpected Objects With Friendly Faces!
These smiling fungi and friendly dressers are here to lift your spirits!
DIY Don't-Try This At Home: Ridiculous Project Fails
Sometimes, we should just let the pros do the job.
Hilarious Birthday Bloopers Make the Best Belly Laughs
These hilarious birthday bloopers will have you laughing all day!
It's Impossible Not to Laugh At These Funny Signs!
Who doesn't love a funny sign? This collection will leave you grinning from ear to ear.
Hilarious: This Just May Be Why Building Codes Exist...
20 examples of the worst construction flaws, that will hopefully remind you to hire a professional next time.
It's Not Fun Being Old, But Sometimes It's Funny...
Let me make your day with these photos that made almost made me spill my coffee this morning.
These Architects Should Really Rethink Their Career Choice
Somebody messed up big time. You’ll laugh your head off seeing how wrong construction can go with these hilarious photos.
These Hilarious Signs Were Totally Unnecessary
Here are 12 photos that really capture the silly side of humanity!
Here Are Some Funny New Year's Quotes to Make You Laugh
We want you to welcome 2023 with laughter. So, here are some hilarious News Year quotes for you.
When Funny Signs Meet Epic Fails, Hilarity Ensues...
These funny signs, tags, and maps show just how much the people responsible for creating them had failed, and it's absolutely hilarious!
Hilarious: 19 Times the Universe Decided to Be Ironic...
These photos capture the most brilliant comedic irony caught on camera!
Funny Gag: Meet the Strongest Girl in the World!
Time for another side-splitting gag from ‘Just For Laughs’.
Interior Design Fails: You Won't Believe This!
Some people have to live with really absurd home designs that make no sense. Take a look.
Warning: Hilariously Bad Animal Puns!
If you like jokes and animals, you've come to the right place! Enjoy these 18 funny animal puns we've collected just for you.
How to Make Sure a Telemarketer Never Calls Again!
If you're like me, you are sick of telemarketers. Here's how you can make sure they NEVER call again...
Here Are 14 of the World's Funniest Bumper Stickers
14 funny and clever bumper stickers that will brighten up your day.
Classic Comedy: A Tennis Player's Breakfast
This sketch is all about how tennis players act on the court - and at breakfast!
Had a Bad Day? It Can Always Be Worse!
Forget about the bad day you think you're having - these poor folks got themselves into some serious fixes. Take a look at these hilarious photos.
I Can't Stop Laughing at These Bizarre Signs!
These are the most ludicrous and unnecessary signs I have ever seen in my life. Laugh at the bonkers things we are told to do by these ubiquitous notices.
Working With a Feline - A Cat-astrophy...
Cats are cute, but try working with one of them around...
11 Hilariously Bad Reviews of Famous Sights Illustrated
These hilarious travel posters illustrate the worst and funniest reviews of famous travel destinations.
These Are the Most Absurd DIY Projects We’ve Come Across
It’s nice to do DIY projects, but this is just ridiculous.
These Photos Are so Ironic You'll Howl with Laughter!
The pictures you're about to see are so permeated with irony that they are scarcely believable. Here are 29 of the most ironic pictures you'll ever see.
Rowan Atkinson Gives a Most Hilarious Sermon!
Rowan Atkinson, the famous comedian, gives a sermon the likes of which you've never heard...
17 Relatable and Funny Comics for All the Coffee Addicts
Coffee lovers, unite! Take a sip of these relatable and funny comics.
Keep Your Lips and Hugs to Yourself Human! Hilarious
A lot of dog and cat owners love to kiss their pets. But often the pet doesn't understand this strange custom. This hilarious compilation shows their reactions!
Comedy Classics: Christmas Shopping With Mr. Bean
This Christmas, let’s go shopping with Mr. Bean.
Hilarious Stand Up: Why Teens Are God's Revenge
A hilarious stand up by comedian veteran Jeff Allen, all about teens and why they are God's revenge.
These Wine Jokes Are All in Good Taste...
I never knew there were so many funny things to say about wine...
Hilarious: Best of Terrible Strangers Pranks!
This prank compilation focuses on 'terrible people' and the weird things they do before you discover it's a prank!
Warning: Hilarious Reasons Men Die Younger
Men are always hell-bent on cutting corners, and this usually means having a total disregard for health and safety. Take a look at these 28 photos.
Funny Photos: These Delivery Men Have an Odd Way of Working
We all enjoy getting a package in the mail, don't we? It's not always so straightforward though. These 20 delivery fails well have you laughing out loud.
When a Ridiculous Sign is Put Up, Hilarity Ensues!
There are certain signs that you come across that leave you wondering what was going on in the mind of the person that put it up. Here are 16 hilarious signs.