Hilarious: The Best of Little Johnny Jokes!
Little Johnny has always provided the online joke world with much amusement, so I decided to put a little collection of his most outrageous shenanigans together just for you. These 20 Little Johnny jokes will have you howling with laughter: 1.
Joke: Little Johnny's Dad
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced that they were going to try something different to help everyone get to know each other a little better and to help with their spelling.
Joke: Little Johnny and the Hammer
Little Johnny comes downstairs crying. His mother asked, "What’s the matter little Johnny?" "Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb bang on with the hammer," said little Johnny through his tears. His mother was touched by the boy's sensitivity but didn't like seeing him cry.
Joke: Little Johnny and the Bullies
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime and Little Johnny always takes the nickel.
Joke: Little Johnny Counts to 10!
The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers. "Yes," he says. "My daddy taught me." "Can you tell me what comes after three?" "Four," answers little Johnny. "What comes after six?" "Seven," answers little Johnny. "Very good," says the teacher. "Your father did a very fine job.
Joke: Little Johnny and the History Exam
Johnson pulled Johnny over to his desk after a test, and said, "Johnny I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests." Johnny was astounded and asked Mr. Johnson to prove it. "Well," said Mr. Johnson, "I was looking over your test and the question was, 'Who was our first president?'
Joke: Little Johnny and the Baby
The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath. The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby. "Hit him again," the 5-year-old said.
Little Johnny Joke: Going to the Nudist Beach
When Little Johnny is even smaller, he goes with his parents to the nudist beach. He is playing with sand and creates castles or swims in the water. After 30 minutes he comes back to his mom and asks: “Mom, Mom, why do all the women have different sized breasts?”
Joke: The Teacher vs. Little Johnny
Little Johnny's hand shot up, but he was ignored. The teacher knew him to be a troublemaker. "It's a plum miss," said a girl. "No." Said the teacher with a smile. "it's an apple, but I like the way you think! The next one is oval-shaped and green."
Joke: Little Johnny and the Sunday School Teacher
Little Johnny: Hallowed! Sunday School Teacher: Hallowed? How did you get that as an answer? Little Johnny It’s in the Lord’s Prayer: Our Father who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name....
This Joke Starts With Little Johnny Visiting the Zoo
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally, his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.
Joke: Little Johnny is Asked About Jesus
Little Johnny said, "He has a red pickup truck but he doesn't know how to drive it." Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny?" "From my Daddy," said Johnny.
This Joke Starts With a Church Matron Cooking Some Beans
Her son, Little Johnny, came running through the house, BB gun in one hand, and a handful of BBs in the other. He tripped and the BBs, naturally, went right into the pot of beans. Thinking it over, Little Johnny could think of no reason why he should risk punishment, so he said nothing.
Funny: Johnny's Answer Catches His Teacher By Surprise
The teacher in Johnny's school asked the class what their mothers did for a living. One little girl said her mother was a doctor, another said her mother was an engineer. When it was Little Johnny's turn, he stood up and said: "My mom's a streetwalker."
This Joke Starts With a Little Boy Pulling Faces At School
Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said: "Johnny, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Just as the teacher had paused, Johnny also paused to think about his response. He replied: "Well, Ms.
Joke: The Little Boy and the Gravestones
A woman takes her little boy to visit their dead relatives' gravestones at a cemetery. The little boy has never been to a cemetery before. The woman first takes her son to her grandmother Annie's gravestone. The initials under Annie's name say R.I.P.
Joke: The Poem of the Three Little Pigs
'Little pig, little pig, let me come in!' 'No, no, by the hairs on my chinny-chin-chin!' 'Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in!' The little pig began to pray, But Wolfie blew his house away. He shouted, 'Bacon, pork and ham! Oh, what a lucky Wolf I am!'
Joke: This Nun Is a Little Judgemental
Scroll below for more funny jokes! Joke: You are Condemned! funny, hilarious, joke, religion, nun When a man finds himself condemned by a nun...
Johnny Cash's Words Are Well Worth Listening To!
Johnny Cash is many peoples favorite country singer and songwriter but, as you’re about to see, he also had a way with words. Below are 12 great inspirational quotes from the man in black.
Joke: The Little Girl and the Pet Store Owner
A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"
Joke: The Firefighter, the Little Girl and Her Firetruck
A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet.
This Joke Starts With a Little Boy Having a Temper Tantrum
"Excuse me, General," she asks quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?"
MUSIC BOX: These Johnny Cash Songs Are Just Wonderful
Johnny Cash is one of America's quintessential singers. There are, after all, not many artists who can claim to have been inducted into the Country, Rock and Roll and Gospel Music Halls of Fame.
This Joke Starts with a Little Girl Being a Nosy Parker
A mother was driving a little girl to her friend's house for a play date. "Mommy?" the little girl asked. "How old are you?" "Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother replied. "It's not polite.." "Okay", the little girl said. "How much do you weigh?" "Now really!"