This Is a Blonde Joke to End All Blonde Jokes
DISCLAIMER: We know blondes are smart too, but we'll pretend otherwise just for this joke! 80,000 blondes meet in a football stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" Convention. The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"
This Joke Starts With a Blonde Being Sick of Blonde Jokes
There was a blonde who was sick of all the blonde jokes . One day, she decided to get a makeover, so she cut and dyed her hair. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheep herder over. "Tell you what.
Joke: The Blond Painter
A Blond man is hired to paint the lines on the road. On the first day, he paints ten miles, and his employers are amazed. But, on the second day, he paints just five, and on the third day, he paints only a mile of the road. Disappointed, his boss asks what the problem was.
Joke: The Blonde Shopper
A blonde walked into an electronics store and said to the salesmen: "I want that TV." The salesperson shook his head and said, "No, we don't sell to blondes." So the blonde left and came back with her hair dyed brown and said: "I'll take that TV."
Joke: A Nauseated Blonde
The blonde wife came home from her first day commuting into the city. Her husband noticed she was looking a little peaked and asked, "Honey, are you feeling all right?" "Not really," she replied. "I'm nauseated from sitting backward on the train." "Poor dear," he said.
Today's Joke: Confusing Instructions (Rude)
A blonde and a brunette decided to rob a bank. They quickly devised a good plan and they put their plan to action. The brunette drove up to the front of the bank that they had decided to rob. She turned to the blonde and asked her, "Now, do you remember what the plan is?"
Joke: Revenge of the Blonde
A blonde woman was sick and tired of all the unfair jokes about blondes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke.
Joke: A Blonde at the Doctor's
A blonde woman came in for a routine physical at the doctor’s office. “There you go," said the nurse as she handed her a urine cup. “The bathroom is over there on your left. The doctor will see you in a few minutes.” A few minutes later the lady came out of the bathroom.
Blonde Is What Blonde Does - Hilarious Jokes!
It's not that we actually think blondes are less intelligent, but that the word blonde can mean many things, and the jokes are hilarious! Enjoy a few jokes about our favourite hair color - the blonde! Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss.
Joke: The Blonde Sister
Many years ago there were two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, who inherited the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.
Joke: A Blonde Interview
A young blonde woman goes to an office for a job interview. The interviewer decides to start with the basics "So, miss, can you tell us your age, please?" He asks. The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 3 seconds before replying "Ehh... 25!"
Joke: A Blonde Hunter and an Alligator...
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of real alligator shoes in the worst way, but she didn't want to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
Joke: The Blondes Visit London
Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in London. The Brunette team rides on the bottom of the bus. The Blonde team rides on the top level.
Joke: The Blond Detective
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Chad - the new blond recruit, wanted the job. "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Chad, what is 1 and 1?" "11" he replied. The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right." "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"
Joke: A Blonde's Car Was Burgled...
A blond dials 911 to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, and even the accelerator!" she cries. The 911 dispatcher says, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way.
Joke: A Blonde on a Galloping Steed...
Standing beside a valiant stallion, a beautiful blonde decides she must ride this animal despite having no previous riding experience. Soon, she finds herself atop the horse's back, galloping through a lush green meadow.
Joke: Stop, You're Blonde!
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant.
Joke: This Blonde Shall Not Move!
The blonde replied, "I'm a famous model, and I’ve never had this problem before. I'm going to sit here all the way, until we get to New York." Flustered, the flight attendant went to the cockpit and informed the captain of the problem.
Joke: Three Blondes in Heaven...
Three blondes are in front of the Heavenly Gate. Each of the blondes lived a sinful and depraved life of lust and drugs. Yet, after their deaths, they find themselves before Saint Peter. Peter looks at these three girls and shakes his head.
Joke: The Blonde Hunters and their Deer
Two blondes decided to go on a hunting trip to see what it's all about. After a few days camping, they finally bagged a deer and were dragging it by the rear legs back to the truck. But the antlers kept getting stuck in the mud.
Joke: The Blond, The Policeman and the Pants
Blue eyes, blonde, the works. "I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'am. Could I see your driver's license?" "What's a license?" replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump. "It's usually in your wallet," replied the officer.
Joke: The Top 10 Blond Inventions
No one can say blondes haven't done their share of inventing. Here are 10 ingenious blonde inventions: 1. The water-proof towel. 2. Solar-powered flashlight. 3. Submarine screen door. 4. A book on how to read. 5. Inflatable dartboard. 6. A dictionary index. 7. Ejector seat in a helicopter. 8.
Joke: The Wild Card (Rude)
For more funny jokes scroll below. Joke: His Father's Wild Card (Rude) funny, humor, father, grandfather, playing cards, rude joke, family joke, wild card, children joke This joke begins with little Adam seeing something he shouldn't have...
This Joke Starts With a Blonde Discovering a Thermos
A blonde goes into a store and sees a shiny object on the shelf. She asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?" The clerk replies, "That is a thermos." The blonde then asks, "What does it do?" The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold." The blonde says, "Oh!