What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
Keep calm and carrot on.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
I think therefore I yam.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
I hope for world peas.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
I yam what I yam.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
I need to take this picture for my instayam
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
I love you from my head tomato
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.