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Top Jokes

Spotify Pick Up Lines
Guess my spotify is broken. I saw you on the top 10 of this month, but you're clearly a solid 11.
Did you see the glitch earlier? You werenโ€™t listed as the top hottest single.
Funny Animal Quotes
โ€œAnytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help."
- Alex Haley
4th of July Pick Up Lines
You might not be Americaโ€™s Most Wanted, but youโ€™re at the top of my Watch List.
Mermaid Puns
For years I told my daughter she was half-human and half-mermaid... but that her bottom half was human, and her top half was mermaid.
Christian Pick Up Lines
Arenโ€™t you supposed to be on top of that tree? Because youโ€™re a star.
Shouldn't you be on top of the tree, Angel?
Coffee Shop Pick Up Lines
Are you a Frappuccino? Because I want to be that whipped cream on the top.
Pea Puns
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
Cherry Puns
What did the cherry say when it won its third Olympic gold medal? That's just the cherry on top of a successful career.
Meat Puns
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
Funny Animal Poems That Rhyme
The theoretic turtle started out to see the toad;
He came to a stop at a liberty-pole in the middle of the road.
โ€œNow how, in the name of the spouting whale,โ€ the indignant turtle cried,
โ€œCan I climb this perpendicular cliff, and get on the other side?
If I only could make a big balloon, Iโ€™d lightly over it fly;
Or a very long ladder might reach the top, though it does look fearfully high.
If a beaver were in my place, heโ€™d gnaw a passage through with his teeth;
I canโ€™t do that, but I can dig a tunnel and pass beneath.โ€
He was digging his tunnel, with might and main, when a dog looked down at the hole.
โ€œThe easiest way, my friend,โ€ said he, โ€œis to walk around the pole.โ€

(Amos Russel Wells)
Easter Pick Up Lines
Do you know how to hop? Because your body is in top form.
Funny Parenting Quotes
โ€œA two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.โ€ - Jerry Seinfeld
โ€œA two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you donโ€™t have a top for it.โ€

- Jerry Seinfeld.
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